The Lives we Live
by Kisa
Summary: YxS. Two years ago, Yuki ended it all for reasons unknown to Shuichi. Now, still suffering from the heartache of it all, Shuichi goes on living, thinking of the past. Will he ever be able to get his Yuki back? COMPLETED 06/22/03
1. One

**Disclaimer:** Unfortunately for me; I own no characters or settings that'll be used in this fic, but as I am poor, please don't sue ^.^ **Notes:** Angst. Lots of it. Blame school. And sorry if anyone seems kinda OOC; I'm in the midst of reading the manga. X.x *has watched the anime though ^.^* **WARNING:** Shounen-ai, hints of yaoi…maybe even some yaoi later. This means malexmale partnerships. If you happen to disagree with this, the turn back now by hitting the "back" button. *happens to wonder why you're reading Gravitation fanfiction* **Key:** '…' = speech _blahblah_ = flash back ------ 'Where's Shuichi?' a now short haired Nakano Hiroshi asked, as his plate of steaming food was set down in front of him, 'Oh, Maiko, western food now?' The woman nodded and settled into her place next to her boyfriend, Fujisaki Suguru. Across from them sat Hiro and his wife, Ayaka. She smiled sadly at Hiro; 'Onii-chan said he had things to do.' 'Like what? Or doesn't he want to spend time with his friends?' Suguru looked up from his food, 'I expect amongst us, he'd feel rather like a fifth wheel…he puts on a brave face, but well…you know.' 'Mmm, Shu-chan hasn't cheered up much at all…his smile isn't **real**. Do you understand what I'm trying to say?' Ayaka asked. Maiko stabbed viciously at her carrots. 'Its all that Yuki Eiri's fault.' The rest of the group responded to the statement in silence, Ayaka shifting uncomfortably, Hiro chewing slowly on his food and Suguru holding Maiko's hand in an attempt to calm her down. Suguru coughed, breaking the silence that had before been broken only by the sound of clinking cutlery. 'So, Ayaka, how are you feeling? Any idea when this baby intends to show up? Have you two stopped arguing over names?' Ayaka and Hiro cast a look each other and shook their heads. 'We can't agree on a name,' Ayaka replied with a disgruntled sigh, 'and its the eighth month. Not long now.' She smiled, and placed a hand almost secretly on her stomach. Maiko got the look most women got when the subject of babies came up, and Suguru, worried, changed the subject. 'What did you say Shuichi was doing?' 'He wasn't specific, but you know that he's working. That's all he ever does. Its always-new lyrics. Onii-chan is no fun anymore.' 'Even after two years apart, he hasn't recovered…' * _Its over… What? Why? What have I done? It has nothing to do with you…I don't want to be with you._ 'Yuki…' Shindou Shuichi slid underwater in the bath, stayed under for as long as he could before his lungs began to burn. He broke through the surface of the water, fast, drawing in as much breath as he could.He shook his head, to clear any feelings of nostalgia implanted there. Pasting a smile on his face, for himself, no one else, he hauled himself out of the small bath, wrapped a towel round his waist and padded into his living room/bedroom. Small drops of water slid with a 'plip' sound to the hardwood floor as Shuichi made his way across the vast room, to his wardrobe. Pulling the door open, his eyes paused on the door. On the inside was a mirror, surrounded by photos. He stared with a smile at the various images scattered across the expanse. A photo of he and his sister, sitting on the high branches of a tree, taken when he was ten; a Polaroid of him and Hiro at their graduation, which for some strange reason had been signed by one of their classmates; one of Bad Luck on their last tour, looking triumphant after a sold out gig. His life full of memories. His fingers traced over the familiar faces, his face unfittingly thoughtful for one who had once been so carefree. Perched precariously at the top of the mirror was a picture taken roughly three years ago when it had snowed. It showed him and Yuki, huddled together, and smiling, Shuichi more so than his partner. They both had snow in their hair, and bright cheeks and eyes, the aftermath of a snow battle. Shuichi looked hard at Yuki, eyes sombre. _Its over Shuichi._ Shuichi flinched. 'Why? Why? What did I do wrong?' He asked the image, hoping earnestly for an answer. None came, of course, as he had expected. But, with the image, he did have more chance of receiving one than from the real person. Turning away from the door, Shuichi pulled out the first clothing that came to hand and quickly backed away from the door, closing it with an outstretched foot, wobbling while he did so. He dressed and pressed play on his stereo, flopping onto his bed. Head bopped up and down to the beat of the tune; some random CD he had borrowed from Maiko…Ta-something or other. It was good, he didn't quite understand it as it was in English, but it was different from his usual. He was trying new things, like his little sister had suggested. He looked over at his alarm clock; seven a.m. He didn't need to be in work for another hour and a half, so he was now stuck with nothing but time to kill. Damn. That was when he got most depressed, stuck with nothing but to brood on the past. He picked up his writing pad, and flicked through it, only to find he had finished all the songs he had been working on the previous night. With a sigh he lay back on his bed and let his thoughts wander. *** _'Hidoii, Yuki! Lemme help with the snowman!' Shuichi pleaded with his boyfriend. They were in the park, the two of them, along with Yuki's older sister Mika and her husband, Seguchi Tohma. 'No, baka, you'll mess it up.' The group had found a small space that was clear of any other human being, with a nice patch of untouched snow. Mika and Tohma watched on as Shuichi and Yuki bickered over the snowman Shuichi had suggested they make. 'Yuuuukiii,' the pink-haired boy continued to whine. Yuki just turned his back on his lover, and continued to work with the icy snow to build his masterpiece. Shuichi sniffled and tears filled his eyes, but he said nothing more, and retreated to stand by a tree and watch Yuki work. 'What are you doing, baka?' the man asked, pausing and looking over his shoulder. Shuichi grinned, 'Not messing up the snowman?' Yuki glared suspiciously. Shuichi put his hands behind his back and meandered over to his lover; 'Ne Yukiiii,' he sung. 'What?' came the barked response. 'Come here…onegai?' Another suspicious look, this time met by the picture of innocence. Yuki shifted warily towards the pink-haired bundle of hyperactivity. Shuichi beamed, and latched onto him, his lips clashing into Yuki's, using a kiss as a distraction. In a quick scurry, he raised his hands, now revealed (to Mika and Tohma) to be full of snow, and shoved them down Yuki's back. Yuki yelped and stumbled backwards…onto his semi-finished snowman. 'Hah!' Shuichi yelled triumphantly, doing a little victory dance. A snowball collided into his head, smattering his hair with white flakes of frozen water. 'Baka.' 'Yuki!' And so the snowball fight commenced between the lovers. Tohma watched wide-eyed, chuckling, and Mika laughed outright at the sight of her usually stoic brother rolling about in the snow like he was five. 'Ah, Mika, you think its funny do you?' Yuki said, balling up snow. 'Huh…? Eiri, you woul---' Mika was cut short by the snowball flying over her head. 'Y'know, Yuki, you have a screwy aim,' Shuichi chided. 'I do not.' 'I happen to agree with him, Eiri-san, you missed Mika-san by miles.' 'Tohma, you couldn't throw a snowball if you tried.' 'Sounds like a challenge.' Yuki suddenly found himself bombarded by flying snow from Tohma, Mika and Shuichi. 'Argh!' 'Haahhhh, I win…Yuki's down!' Shuichi stumbled as …_ *** Shuichi's dreams of the past were interrupted by the harsh tune of his cell phone. He rolled out of bed and answered the call. 'Shuichi! You're an hour late!' He heard as a greeting from Hiro. 'Huh? Oh, yeah, sorry, up late last night, working.' 'Nah, s'okay, seems Fujisaki's kinda late too…' 'What? But he's never late!' 'He stayed with Maiko last night didn't he?' Shuichi took a while to realise what Hiro was implying. 'Hiro! That's my little sister you're talking about!' The other man chuckled. 'Look, just get here fast, we finally have a reason to moan at the guy…he's always on at us.' 'Okay, okay, I'll be there.' He hung up, and after a quick mad dash, was out of the apartment and at the studio within twenty minutes, ready to berate Fujisaki for the rest of the day with Hiro. * Yuki Eiri rested his head in his hands, closing his eyes in rest from the glaring white screen of his laptop. He had had enough of sitting in front of the damn contraption. So what if he only had a few more paragraphs to go until he finished the novel, beating his 'deadline' by weeks. He stood so fast; he sent his comfy office chair over onto its side. He walked briskly out of the room, stretching on his way. He hadn't slept for almost two nights now, and was exhausted, only thinking of one way to enjoy his break, doing the only thing he did nowadays apart work and eat. Sleep. He stumbled into his bedroom, and noticed something out of place almost immediately. A photo frame on his bedside cabinet. However, it was devoid of any picture. He looked at it, and felt anger tingle in his emotions. That was probably the only photo he had of Shuichi; and now it was gone, replaced by a note. He stalked over to the frame, and read the note. "ANIKI! You shouldn't keep things like this! Otherwise you'll soon build up a huge collection of all your lovers…" Aha, so Tatsuha had done this. The little punk would pay. Setting down the frame, he took a few calming breaths. Maybe he shouldn't get angry, after all what right did he have to hold onto the past? He had ended it after all. He sighed, and ran a hand through his scruffy blonde hair, wondering what the pink-haired baka would be up to at that moment. (Of course; Yuki would never of guessed that Shuichi had just received a nasty thump to the head from Suguru for being everlastingly annoying). Did he have a girlfriend? Or maybe another boyfriend? Was he happy? Yuki paid little attention to what Tatsuha had to say, always had and that would never change, but he knew his younger brother was good friends with Shuichi, and Tatsuha tended to hang out with Shuichi and his friends whenever he was in Tokyo. He looked at the empty photo frame, which seemed to be screaming the reflection of his life. Empty. Devoid of anything but the daily motions. No happiness, no free time, no love, nothing. He snarled, what had brought on the sudden bought of depression? Yuki flopped back on his bed, and promptly fell asleep. * 'Thanks for the ride home, Hiro!' Shuichi waved from the door of his apartment building, watching his friend drive off home. As soon as Hiro was out of sight, Shuichi's shoulder's slumped in exhaustion and he practically had to drag himself up to his apartment. He entered his one room home, and immediately turned up the heat shivering. Winter was coming. He dropped his backpack onto one of the armchairs that were scattered around the huge room. His apartment resembled that of a loft conversion; it was one big room for his living space, his bedroom area cut off from the living room by a partition that he rarely ever closed. His kitchen was over in the corner, a breakfast bar separating it from the rest of the room. And his bathroom was a small boxlike room, the only room separate from the main room. The whole apartment was decorated in a bland white. Shuichi had never got around to decorating, even after one and a half years of living there. Shuichi yawned, tired after bouncing around the studio all day and from smiling a fake smile. He wandered over to the bedroom part of the room, and noticed that the picture of him and Yuki in the snow had fallen to the floor, probably from when he had closed the wardrobe door earlier. He picked it up and looked at it, with a smile this time. That day had been fun after all, a good memory. And the night that followed had been even better, he thought wickedly. *** _Shuichi stumbled as Yuki tackled him to the floor. 'I think that should be "Yuki Wins"' Yuki whispered in his ear, 'seeing as you're the one who's down.' 'Wah! Yuki, you're heavy! This is cheating! Get off, get off!' Shuichi squirmed, attempting too look to Mika or Tohma for help, only to find they had conveniently wandered off. 'Are you saying I'm fat, brat?' 'Yuki! Cheater! Cheater!' the "brat" in question wiggled as snow slipped into his collar. The weight removed itself from Shuichi and he opened his eyes too see Yuki kneeling above him, hair in disarray and covered in soft white snow. He grinned; 'Yukiiiiii looks so cute!' He jumped up and latched onto his love, burying his face in the crook of the mans neck. 'Come on, we should follow Mika and Tohma to that café. We'll finish this later,' he said with a predatory grin. With no argument, Shuichi followed._ *** Shuichi put the picture back its perch above the mirror and turned away. At least he had those good times nobody would take them away. Granted they weren't as good as Yuki himself, but still. But, remembering those times would just make him depressed. He hadn't seen Yuki in two years now, but he still loved the other man dearly, missed him with every fibre of his body. Not that Shuichi could put it that way whenever the subject was brought up. He had tried dating other people, but it didn't work out, ever, he was still too…tangled in Yuki's web. The thing that hurt most was that the fact it had ended so abruptly, there had been no warning; it was as if his ex-partner had just fallen out of love with him. Whenever Shuichi saw Tatsuha, he was assured that wasn't the case. Yuki's younger brother was set on getting the two back together, and Shuichi was unsure of his motivations. Tatsuha scared him sometimes. 'Argh,' Shuichi mumbled. He didn't have time to think of Yuki, shouldn't be either as his spirit sank lower with each little jab of memory. 'What did I have to do tonight?' Ah, that was it. Maiko was pissed at him for not going to dinner last night, so he had promised to go for a drink with her, Suguru and some others to make it up. He groaned, a big crowd was the last thing his tired mind needed. But he had promised. Resentfully, he went off to get ready. *** _'Eiri-san.' Tohma looked up at Yuki as the younger man opened the door. Yuki shot a hazardous glare at the intruder. 'What do you want?' 'Nothing. Its just you haven't answered anyone's calls, so I felt obliged to come see if you were okay.' 'Feel obliged to go elsewhere now then.' Ignoring Yuki's harshness, Tohma slipped past him into the apartment. He looked around. 'So its true then?' Yuki looked at him. 'That you finished your relationship with Shindou-san,' Tohma elaborated. 'I have no idea that it had anything to do with you,' Yuki snarled, lighting up a cigarette and inhaling deeply. 'I thought you quit.' 'S'no one here to complain.' Yuki responded simply. Tohma could think of no way to respond to that, so he settled for sitting himself down. 'Eiri-san…' 'Don't start. It's none of your business. It's no one's business.' 'I was going to ask if I could have some tea, but seeing as you brought it up. Why?' 'Is that the only question anyone can ask nowadays?' Yuki asked, looking away. 'I was under the impression you were happy. You were changing, becoming more…sociable. We were all lead to believe you loved that boy.' 'He's not a boy anymore. And I may have been happy. But in the end it would end in tears,' the younger man breathed out, smoke curling around his face, 'we'd of hurt each other.' 'He's vanished, you know that? No one can find him.' Yuki whirled round; 'Do they know if he's okay?' He asked, before having a chance to get his emotions in check. Tohma's eyes widened. 'Eiri-san…why on earth--? If you still love him, why are you doing this to yourself?' 'Because I don't want him hurt. I'm doing this for him…he'll eventually get over me. I can't stay with people, I'll ruin them.' 'Eiri-san…' 'Even if he's hurting now, he'll recover. I've never known people bounce back like he does.' There was a stale silence between the two. 'I never really approved of your relationship,' Tohma said quietly, 'I feel bad about that now. I think you two, you were good for each other…but, you've ruined it now, Eiri-san. You've pushed him away, and I'm sure he'll do as you wish and stay away.' With that, Tohma stood and silently left the apartment, leaving Yuki to wallow in his actions. *** 'It's over, Shuichi.' Shuichi looked up from his manga. 'What was that Yuki?' He asked, puzzled from Yuki's abrupt comment. 'I said; its over. I'm finishing it with you.' Shuichi's eyes went wide, 'Why? Why? What have I done wrong? Is it the sex? I can get better! Or...don't you like my cooking? I'll practice. What is it?! Yuki…why?' He sobbed, tears welling in his pretty purple eyes. Yuki put his fingers to his temples and resisted the urge to wrap his lover in a hug. 'I…I don't want you around. Stay away from me.' 'Yuki…' 'It's over.'_ **To be continued…**


	2. Two

**Disclaimer:** I don't own these characters…mwah. Doesn't mean I can't write about and torment them…*cackles and runs away* **Notes:** Kinda getting OOC, trying to keep the characters in check as much as possible though. And yesh, it was TaTu Shuichi was listening to in the first chapter ^.^; **WARNING:** Shounen-ai, hints of yaoi…maybe even some yaoi later. This means maleXmale partnerships. If you happen to disagree with this, the turn back now by hitting the "back" button. *Happens to wonder why you're reading Gravitation fanfiction* Key-desu!: '…' = speech _blahblah_ = flash back _And so…we continue with the tale of angst so Emily (x.x) can survive Vay's wrath…_ ---- 'I got a call last night,' Shuichi mumbled through a mouthful of sticky strawberry pocky. 'That's nice. Lots of people get calls,' Hiro said absently, continuing to channel surf. 'From Tatsuha.' 'Oh, yeah? What does he want?' 'Hiro, you don't need to sound so mean!' Shuichi exclaimed. Hiro rolled his eyes. 'Anyway,' Shuichi continued, 'He said he's coming to stay in Tokyo for a while.' 'Huh. What for?' Shuichi shrugged, and dropped down into a seat opposite Hiro. The afternoon was rainy and dull, and the two men were chilling out on their time off while Ayaka had gone out clothes shopping. 'Just wants something to do I guess. That big place in Kyoto must be pretty lonely when your living there by yourself.' 'Hn, I guess,' was the quiet reply, as Hiro became engrossed in some show or other. Shuichi continued, unaware no one was listening. 'Well, he said he needed a place to stay. I said you two probably would put him up but he said you didn't like him, Hiro -whatever gave him that impression, I don't know- so, I said I'd asked my sister, she gets on with him well, but then there's the whole fact she wants her privacy now -girls are so fussy- and that's why I can't hang out there anymore. So, I figured I might as well let him stay, although my sofa bed really needs a new cushiony thing, but he said that was fine. I hope he's not gonna do anything-weird…Hiro, OI, Hiro. You're not listening.' Hiro nodded vaguely; 'Sounds good.' 'Gyah,' Shuichi whined, shoving another stick of pocky in his mouth, sulking. Hiro took a sidelong glance at Shuichi, 'So you're gonna let Uesugi Tatsuha stay at your place. Hm, won't that be kinda difficult seeing as he looks so much like…' Shuichi chewed on his pocky. 'Its fine! Sure, Tatsuha looks a lot like Yuki; they are brothers after all. But I'm over Yuki,' he poked Hiro in the ribs with a fresh piece of his candy, 'I thought everyone knew that.' Hiro said nothing, just nodded in consideration of his friends comment and pinched the piece of pocky dangling between Shuichi's fingers. 'Ew, its all sticky.' 'Hiro! That's mine! And its sticky cuz I left it on the window ledge above the heater,' he made a swipe for the candied treat, but Hiro moved his hand and devoured the strawberry-ness. 'Hmph, that was my last one too. I'm gonna go get more.' With a glare at Hiro, Shuichi dashed off to scavenge for any more boxes of his favourite snack in his apartment. 'You can say what you want, Shuichi. But despite what you say or do, you're far from over Yuki Eiri,' Hiro muttered sadly. 'Aha! Found a box!' * Yuki woke up a day later, his lack of sleep finally catching up with him with a vengeance. He sat up, feeling light headed. He leaned back against his headboard on the bed and let his head drop softly back against the wall. In his almost delirious state, he was driven to look to the other side of the bed…Shuichi's side. Or, what had been. But even now, when he slept with others, he didn't let anyone take Shuichi's side, preferring the partners to take his side. He looked over and could almost see the boy tucked up tight, twisted in the blankets. He blinked a few times and the image wouldn't leave him. _The boy rolled over, eyes shut in sleep, a happy smile on his face as he snuggled up to Yuki._ In the present time; the man could feel the phantom warmth of his ex-lover and began mimicking movements from the past. _Yuki looked down at Shuichi as the boy wrapped an arm around his waist, possessively. 'Ne…Yuki?' came a sleep-ridden voice. 'What baka?' There was no response, and Yuki figured the boy was just speaking in his sleep. There was silence for a while, as his just watched Shuichi sleep, hand place awkwardly on the other side of the boy. 'Yuki…Yuki, aren't you cold…Yuki?' Shuichi said, shifting slightly, pushing the covers he was tangled in towards the blonde man. The blankets balled up in Yuki's lap, leaving Shuichi partly exposed to the air. 'Is Yuki cold?'_ Yuki jumped, snapping out of his daydream. 'God, I need a cigarette.' He slipped off the bed and padded into the living room, wondering where he had left the box and his lighter. His flash from the past still haunted him as he lit up a cigarette and inhaled deeply. This was yet another thing that reminded him of Shuichi, Goddamit. The constant nagging to quit, on and on and on. _Its bad for your lungs! Yuki might die! Lung cancer Yuki! LUNG CANCER!_ Then when he had quit…Yuki smiled in appreciation, then he had had to find something **else** to be addicted too. 'I'm losing my mind,' he said to himself, and then as if to prove his point, 'I'm even fucking talking to myself now.' He had nothing to do with himself; he reasoned. He didn't want to work anymore, he didn't want to sleep, nor did he want to go out. He looked to his TV, and picked up the remote to turn it on, only to throw it down again, changing his mind. There was nothing on the television apart from boring drivel. In a fit of restlessness, he turned to his answer machine and pressed play. The tape was always full, he never answered the phone and tended to wipe messages before listening to the. Phones were the bane of his existence. The tape clicked, and rewound the beginning and a high-pitched beep emitted from the small speaker. Ah, the lovely editor, reminding him of his deadline. Delete. Some telemarketer trying to sell him beauty products. Delete. The taped whirred again, and Tohma's voice began speaking, crackling from slight interference from the cell phone. "Eiri-san, you should come out to lunch with Mika and I today, we haven't seen you in a while. It would be nice to-," the signal had apparently faltered at that point and Tohma had been cut off. Yuki looked at the clock. Too late for lunch. And the message was over a day old. Delete. The machine went through its motions once more, and began playing a message recorded two hours previously. "Aniki. Sorry to bug you, just figured I'd inform you that I'm coming down to visit you all till you send me packing. Anyway, don't get all prissy, I'm not expecting to stay with you," Tatsuha's voice said, pausing to talk to someone in the background. "I'm gonna stay with Shuichi! Wasn't it nice of him to put me up, when my family can't be bothered? That goes for Mika too. I'll be there in a day or two though, so if you wanna move to Guam, now would be the time, ne? No hard fee---" The tape had cut him off there. Yuki rolled his eyes; his brother did have a tendency to ramble on sometimes. And then his little brother had been hinting at the lack of good family bonds. Well, they had never really been close in the first place. He wiped the rest of the messages off the tape, deciding he'd rather not listen anymore and promising himself he'd never listen to it again. Maybe he'd just get rid of his phone. Still feeling restless, Yuki decided to go for a walk. Anywhere to get him out of the static air of his apartment. * Tohma looked up suddenly from his book, turning to his wife. 'I'm worried about Eiri-san,' he said. Mika looked at him, surprised. 'That was sudden,' she commented, 'but I can see why. I'm worried about my little brother too.' Tohma smiled softly, sadly. 'He hasn't answered my calls.' 'Tohma,' Mika moved over to sit next to him and leaned in to look closely at her husband, 'when does Eiri ever answer your calls? Or mine, for that matter?' 'He's distant-' Mika interrupted, 'He's always been distant, Tohma,' she leant back in her seat. 'All that's changed is that he works more, sleeps and eats less, and his health has taken a plummet. But he won't let us help him.' The blonde man balled his fists; 'Its not just that. He's hurting, from the mistake he made.' 'He has to be left to make his own decisions. He's not a child. He doesn't appreciate us butting into his life,' Mika reasoned, although she was deeply worried for her brother too. Especially after talking to Tatsuha after his last visit. Tohma stood. 'I'm going to see him,' he said, and without another word, left. Mika slumped forward, forever stuck with the realisation that her husband loved her brother more than he loved her. * Yuki was sat on a bench in a park, the only park he went to, the place he had met Shuichi. His head was tilted backwards, and he was looking at the drab grey sky. It was threatening to rain again, but he didn't care. The fresh air felt good and cool on his skin. He took another drag from his cigarette, his fifth since he had got to the park, and just sat, taking in what was around him. Because of the dismal weather, there weren't many people about, and he was, as usual, left alone with his thoughts. The clouds drifted aimlessly overhead, and Yuki attempted desperately to clear his head, so he could go home and focus on work. The quiet patter of rain filled his senses suddenly, and Yuki looked back up to the sky. The heavens had opened once more, and it had started spitting rain. The fine drops of water soon soaked into his shirt, and soaked pretty much everything else. With a resentful sigh, he urged himself back to his feet, stubbing his cigarette out on the bench, and hurried as quickly as he could against the crowds back to his apartment. He rounded the corner and started down the hallway to his apartment, and immediately wished he'd stayed sitting in the rain. It appeared that his dear brother in law had decided to pay him a visit, and the man was currently hammering on Yuki's door in what seemed like desperate worry. 'Eiri-san!' Seguchi Tohma was saying, as he knocked. Yuki rolled his eyes. Tohma, along with Mika, didn't know when to stay away. 'What do you want?' he asked, walking up to the door, leaning over Tohma to open it. 'Ah, Eiri-san, you're okay? You're not ill? Look at you, your soaking wet, you should wear a coat when you go out in the rain.' Yuki ignored Tohma's comments and questions, and slipped past him into his apartment. He went to close the door firmly before the other man could enter, but it was too late. Yuki groaned. 'Why are you here, Tohma?' He wandered into his bedroom to change his shirt, leaving the older man to stand in the living room awkwardly. 'I came to see if you were okay, Eiri-san. You've been ignoring Mika's calls and mine. You didn't come to lunch yesterday…you've become more distant.' Yuki exited his bedroom, buttoning the last few buttons on a well-worn blue shirt. 'Congratulations, you've accomplished your task of seeing me. And I am okay. Now leave.' 'Eiri-san…' 'Is there more?' Tohma sighed, unable to communicate properly with Yuki. Instead he sat down, and looked up at Yuki. 'What have you been up to?' He asked pleasantly. 'Working, eating, sleeping. The usual…' Yuki said, adding silently, thinking of him. 'Oh! Work. How's the new novel?' 'Tohma, the small talk is nice, but not for me,' Yuki attempted to say as nicely as possible, eager to get the man out of his inner sanctum. Yuki sat down opposite to Tohma, putting a few metres of distance between them. As soon as he was settled, he lit up another cigarette, noting mentally that this was his fifteenth today and that he needed to cut down. 'Eiri-san, you really should attempt to stop that nasty habit.' 'Don't want to.' Tohma sighed, 'Sometimes, you're like a stubborn child. Honestly, you quit once…it's not good for you.' _It's not good for you._ That's what Shuichi always said. The constant whining and worrying from Shuichi's part had caused Yuki to give up his nicotine addiction in the first place. 'Eiri-san, talk to me, please.' 'I don't have time for talking. Leave, I have work to do.' Yuki got up from his seat, and stalked into his office, closing the door heavily behind him. Tohma looked sadly at the division between them, before gathering himself together. 'As you wish, Eiri-san, I'll leave.' *** _'WAI! Yuki's giving up smoking! With a bit of hard work, you'll never have to touch a cigarette again!' Shuichi grinned insanely over the table at his lover, before continuing to stuff himself with over-sugared breakfast cereal. It had officially been an hour since Yuki had thrown his last box of cigarettes in the bin (but not before Shuichi had shredded them into non-smokable pieces; 'Can't let you slip while I'm at work' he had said cheerfully), and he was dying for a nicotine fix. He found it impossible to see why Shuichi was so damn bouncy and happy. 'Yuuuuuu-ki! Eat your breakfast, you'll feel lots better!' Another spoonful of something-o's (these thing all had the same names; it didn't matter) was shoved into Shuichi's mouth. Yuki watched him eat. The boy was bouncing in his seat; he seemed more hyper than usual. 'Whats with you?' Yuki managed, almost civilly. Shuichi grinned; 'Finish early today. Sooner I get to work, sooner I can come home and spend time with you!' 'I'll be working.' 'YUKI! You promised last night that you'd spend time with me!' 'Last night, I was preoccupied with other things,' Yuki said, almost leering. Shuichi blushed. 'Eh-heh, I guess, but Yuki, please?' He asked, sad look and puppy-dog eye mode in play. Yuki waved a hand absently as a "yes". 'WAI!' The pink haired young man bounced out of the room, but popped his head back around the doorframe, 'Yuki, eat something. You'll get cranky otherwise.' Yuki rolled his eyes, and started picking at his food, an idea beginning to slowly formulate in his mind. When Shuichi finally emerged ready for work, Yuki had moved to the living room, and was twirling a pen between his fingers. 'I need something to take my mind off smoking,' he mumbled. Shuichi blinked. 'Suck on a straw or something?' he offered, 'Go buy some of those nicotine patch things. They're meant to work,' the boy wandered over to Yuki and gave him a kiss. 'I'll be back soon. Don't eat lunch without me.' Yuki caught his arm and pulled Shuichi towards him. 'Yuki-?' 'That won't work. I need someone to take my mind off it.' The boy looked down innocently. 'Huh? Wha-? YUKI!' the realisation dawned on him after a few minutes, and he squirmed to free his arm from his lovers grasp. 'NOOOO! I have to go to work!' But Yuki had already pounced. Needless to say, work was forgotten._ *** Yuki tapped his fingers on the desk, ability to write eluding him and his restlessness back. He couldn't concentrate, too focused on the past and what he had let go. Crazy to get his mind off Shuichi; he picked up the phone and called Tohma, to ask if lunch could be arranged. * 'Hello, Shuichi!' 'Tatsuha?' 'Aw, damn, how'd you guess?' Maiko appeared behind her brother in the doorway to his apartment. 'Well, I know my brother's not the smartest of people, but that wig is very obviously fake.' Tatsuha's happy grin failed and he pulled off the wig sadly, 'I guess my cunning plan could never fool you.' 'Nope.' Shuichi sweatdropped. 'Erm,' he waved his hands, 'Come in!' Wig incident forgotten, the younger boy of the Uesugi family bounced into Shindou Shuichi's apartment. 'So, Tatsuha, what brings you to Tokyo?' Maiko said, sitting down on the beaten couch in the living room area. The dark haired man shrugged, 'Whats wrong with just coming here to visit my friends? Everyone lives in Tokyo now. You've all abandoned me.' He mock cried, hand thrown across his eyes. Maiko snorted. Shuichi looked sympathetic towards Tatsuha, but returned to studying the wig Tatsuha had abandoned. 'Actually, I just figured I'd catch up with you all. And Ayaka-chan's baby's due soon. So I'm taking a vacation.' 'You're always on vacation,' Shuichi's little sister said absently, flicking a page over in her magazine. 'Ta-dah!' Shuichi spread his arms out, now wearing the long, blonde wig. 'Its suits you, Onii-chan,' Maiko said, not looking up. 'You're not even looking,' Shuichi pouted, prodding at his sister. Tatsuha chuckled. 'How long do you intend to stay?' Shuichi prodded his sister once more, and she turned and pushed him off the arm of the couch. 'ITAI!' Shuichi hopped back to his feet, and glared at Maiko. 'What was that for?' She ignored him, and re-iterated her earlier question. 'Oh, I dunno…' Tatsuha slung an arm round Shuichi's shoulders and pulled the other man towards him, 'as long as Shu-chan here can stand my ugly face for.' Shuichi blinked up at Tatsuha…and went to respond; _"You're face isn't ugly…its just like Yuki's…beautiful…"_ His eyes widened as his thoughts became apparent in his head. His heart skipped a beat, and he suddenly felt guilty. He had lied to Hiro earlier. He was nowhere near over Yuki, never would be. And it was going to be difficult having Tatsuha around, a constant reminder, almost, of what he had lost. *** _'Its over.' Yuki had given his ultimatum. He wanted Shuichi out of his home and out of his life. The pain in the young pink haired man's chest was indescribable; it was almost as if…as if his heart really was breaking. The apartment was quiet, and Shuichi was packing his belongings. Yuki had long since vanished, his only words as he left being 'I want you gone by the time I'm back.' The reality of what was going on was permeating slowly into Shuichi's senses, and he was finding it hard to try and keep back his tears. For some strange reason, he didn't want to cry. He didn't want to acknowledge the reality. 'Why? Why?' Was all he mumbled as his packed his clothes into his backpack. It was funny, when people moved, they usually found they had more stuff than they had started with when they moved in, but Shuichi found that his belongings seemed to of depleted, as if some power that be wanted him out of the apartment as soon as possibly. Shuichi choked out a sob. On top of all this heartache, where did he have to go? What was he supposed to do? Why was Yuki doing this?_ **To Be Continued…**


	3. Three

**Disclaimer:** *pouts* Even if I did have an imagination, I doubt I could create such great characters as the ones used in this fic, so obviously, they don't belong to me. -.- DON'T SUE ME! Also, I do not own "Sometimes" by Ash…but that's seems to have become the "theme" for this fic ^.^ (btw, check it out if you haven't heard it!) **Notes:** Third instalment, usual stuff applies (ie. Emily corrupts characters into warped versions of their past selves [or OOC-ness]). Thanks for reviews *glomps* Enjoy! **WARNING:** Shounen-ai, hints of yaoi…maybe even some yaoi later. This means maleXmale partnerships. If you happen to disagree with this, the turn back now by hitting the "back" button. *Happens to wonder why you're reading Gravitation fanfiction* Key-desu! '…' = Speech _blahblah_ = flash back _"La li ho!"_ = thoughts/lyrics ---- Two weeks. Two weeks had passed since Tatsuha's arrival. A week and a half since Kei had given Bad Luck time off (much to Sakano-san's distress). In the past few hours, twenty-five year old Shindou Shuichi had begun to believe he was loosing his mind (again). The partition separating his 'bedroom' and 'living room', was closed, something that rarely happened. Shuichi dropped face first onto his bed, and attempted to relax. He couldn't. 'I miss work,' he mused to himself. Over the past two years, his work had become his life, well, more so than before. At first, it had been to get his mind off Yuki (after spending three months absent from Tokyo; brooding, and wandering around Japan by his self) and then, as the months went by, work, writing songs and composing, became all he did. Anything to escape. And he faced an even longer vacation after Hiro and Ayaka's baby was born. He rolled over, looking up to the bland white ceiling. His fingers tapped a beat on the mattress, one of the songs on Bad Luck's soon to be released album. Aside from the tapping, there was no other sound in the apartment. Shuichi smiled; they hadn't wanted to leave him alone, they never did. The way his sister and friends looked at him sometimes, like they feared he would do something drastic. Now there was a notion…people were still worried about him, after all this time. Yes, true, he hadn't gone about getting over Yuki, or attempting to, the right way. Running away from it all and just vanishing had been stupid. But it had been a long time since that, aeons from the way Shuichi's brain had made it, a long time. And at least he had returned. So…why did he feel like a bad child that needed constant watching? Fake smile. Not his self. Heartbroken. He blinked. The thoughts had occurred to him more than once. He stared at a dark patch on the ceiling a while longer, wistful look in his huge violet eyes. Shuichi sat up sharply, and shook his head. 'I need to sleep,' he ordered himself. He pulled his blankets up around him, and dropped back to lying down. He turned to his left, then to his right, unable to get comfortable and winding the blankets tightly around himself. After a bit of tossing and turning, he found a comfortable position on his side. He stared at the wall, his eyes drooping…falling slowly too sleep. He shifted backwards a bit, and fell off the side of the bed. * The sound of women's voices babbling drifted into the living room. The voices were fast, speaking excitedly, and there were the odd intervals of 'EEE, that is SO cute!' or 'AWWWWW!'. Shuichi, Suguru and Hiro had all managed to tune it out in order to focus on their own conversation…that had now dwindled into a debate between Hiro and Suguru over which instrument was better; keyboard or guitar. Shuichi watched the argument as you would watch a tennis match, and was growing increasingly bored. He didn't like tennis anyway. His attention was quickly drawn in by the PlayStation sitting by Hiro's TV. Five minutes later, the keyboard/guitar dispute was forgotten, and a tournament of **_Dragonball Z Final Bout_** commenced. 'Whooo, I kicked your ass, Hiro!' Shuichi cried, waving his controller in the air. 'That's it, I want to change character.' 'No! Its my turn,' Suguru proclaimed, having missed out on ten goes due to Hiro "changing" characters. 'Shuichi, you give up your controller!' 'NUUUUU! You'll steal Chibi Goku from me!' At that moment, Ayaka marched into the room, a "seriously-pissed-off" look on her face. 'Will you men please keep it down. We are trying to have a conversation in the kitchen, and currently all we can hear is your childish, silly bickering,' hands on hips, she glared menacingly at them, before turning and leaving the room. Silence descended between the Bad Luck band members. 'Y'know, Hiro, Ayaka-chan is going to make a really good mother. She's so…scary.' Shuichi whispered, eyes wide. Hiro sighed, and hung his head. 'I really cannot wait until this baby is born,' he stood up from his seat on the floor, and resumed his space on the couch. Suguru raised an inquisitive eyebrow, 'Surely that should be Ayaka's line. Why are you so fussed about it?' Hiro opened his mouth to reply, but Shuichi jumped in. 'He's not getting any, why else do you think?' Hiro glared at Shuichi, and whacked him round the side of the head. 'Pervert.' 'So, Hiro, has the name been resolved?' Suguru asked, continuing the previous conversation from dinner a few weeks before. Shuichi looked confused. 'Nope. Ayaka and I will never be able to agree. Our baby shall end up being known as "child", you watch.' 'I'm sure you'll think of something when the baby is born,' Suguru smiled. Another burst of laughter came from the kitchen. 'Can we finish our tournament?' Shuichi asked, waving towards the game console. 'I'll kick your ass this time Shindou.' 'Hah, you wish!' * Tatsuha stopped channel surfing after coming across a music station. The current song had no meaning to him, but he liked the tune, and hey, there was always a chance of a Nittle Grasper song appearing, right? He was sitting in Yuki's living room, alone. His brother had long since given up listening to Tatsuha's babble and had locked himself in his study. 'Moaney old git,' Tatsuha grumbled, focusing his attention on the TV. It had taken ages to find a decent channel. Tatsuha was beginning to see no point in paying more for cable, there was never anything on TV. Ever. The song finished, and another one queued. 'Tatsuha…' a voice grumbled from behind him. 'Hai, A-ni-ki?' Tatsuha sing-songed. 'Will you turn that damned racket down…I am trying to work.' His brother stalked over and grabbed the remote, to turn down the volume. _"Sometimes it happens feelings die…four years are lost in the blink of an eye…we once had it all, but events conspired, oh sometimes…sometimes."_ Yuki paused, thumb hovering over the Vol. Down button. 'You shouldn't listen to this crap.' He stated, practically muting the volume and hurrying back to his study. Tatsuha blinked, a smile creeping over his face. _"And now that it is over…it is through, it gets me every time I think of you, and sometimes it happens; feelings die. Oh sometimes… I miss your warm skin, beside me at night…"_ 'Aniki, you didn't need to kill the sound!' Tatsuha complained, an idea slowly formed in his mind. He had a vague idea why his brother had looked so…sad upon hearing the song. It was a look Tatsuha had never seen before. 'I think…' Tatsuha concluded quietly to himself, 'that you miss Shuichi, my dear onii-chan.' And, he was going to do anything to match make the pair together again. * Yuki rested his head in his hands, eyes closed. What had happened there? Why had he paused? His thoughts were interrupted by a loud whoop and a raise in volume as a Nittle Grasper song queued on the TV. He rolled his eyes; his brother was always the same. He resisted the urge to storm out of his office, grab the little brat, and chuck him out, via the balcony. Yuki allowed a grin. Least then the quiet of his home would resume. He turned his attention back to his screen, the flickering text cursor resting at the last finished sentence he had typed. The heroine of the story had just discovered her lover in bed with another woman. Yuki winced; romance was so stale and always took the same roots. He needed variety in his books, but his publishers insisted upon him writing what would sell well. Over rated tripe. He poised his fingers, ready to type…only the words that had flowed onto the screen easily before, didn't come. He cursed. He didn't have time for writers block. The blonde writer reached for his cigarette packet, withdrew a cigarette and lit up, inhaling deeply in a hope to calm down and get back into creative mode. After five minutes of sitting in contemplative silence, Yuki gave up. Obviously, he was in serious need of a break. Saving his work to disc, he turned off his laptop and exited his study. At first, he contemplated having a conversation with Tatsuha, who, after the Nittle Grasper song had finished, had returned to channel surfing. Yuki shook his head; he didn't want to talk, not really. Tatsuha had been hanging around with Shuichi and his friends for the past two weeks, and would probably want to talk about the pink haired baka. No. That wouldn't do. Yuki would probably have another sudden wash of nostalgia, and get stuck in the past, something that had become frequent in the past few days. And dammit, he didn't have time. 'I'm going out,' he offered as his only explanation, and before the other man had a chance to reply, Yuki had gotten his coat, and walked out of the door. *** _'Gyah! I'm late!' 'You're always late,' Yuki responded absently. 'Nuuuu, this is different. If I'm late today, it won't be Kei threatening me with a magnum, it'll be Hiro strangling me with a bow-tie.' Yuki snorted at the ridiculous mental image. 'Where is it? Where is it? Ohhhh, I'm so dead.' 'What are you looking for?' 'Ring.' 'Huh? Why?' 'Ring for wedding. Y'know, a wedding ring. Hiro will kill me if I've lost it!' Yuki attempted not to take this the wrong way…why the hell would his beautiful pink haired baka want a wedding ring for Nakano? 'YUKI! You could help me!' Shuichi stomped his feet and pouted. The man looked up from his book, and did a double take when he saw his lover. The shorts and tank tops combo had been forfeited for a crisp white shirt and black pants. Even the untidy hair had been tamed and slicked back. 'Where are you going?' Yuki asked suspiciously. 'Uwa…I'd tell but I'm not allowed. Help me look for this ring!' Shuichi went back to rummaging through his backpack, frenziedly throwing out the junk he kept in there. Yuki rolled his eyes, and looked around the room, spotting a small black box almost straight away, under the coffee table. He picked it up, and examined it. Really, why on earth would Shuichi want a wedding ring? Who was getting married? 'Maybe I should pay more attention…' he said to himself. Shuichi looked frantic. 'WAH! I can't find it…' he wailed, tears brimming in his eyes. Yuki almost took pity on him, but where was the fun in that? He wrapped his arms around the other man's waist and pulled him close. 'Yu-ki…I need to find that ring!' Yuki silence his lover's pleading with a kiss, and slipped the ring into Shuichi's back pocket. Shuichi snuggled up to Yuki. 'I really need to find that ring…' he mumbled as his only way of protesting. 'What for…?' Shuichi pulled away. 'I'm not allowed to tell! Ahah! Found it!' He pulled the ring out of his back pocket. Yuki rolled his eyes. 'Yay, Hiro won't kill me. On that point, neither will Ayaka-chan,' Shuichi laughed. Ah, it all came together now. Yuki concluded. The infamous engagement. He had had idea that Nakano and Ayaka would get married in secret, thus Shuichi's forever 'I'm not allowed to tell' line. Devilish grin in place. 'Maybe they'll still kill you…Y'know Shu-chan, you look rather nummy today.' 'Huh? Wha-? No, Yuki…I'll be late!' 'I don't care.'_ *** Shuichi dropped his keys onto the hallway table. 'Tadaima…' he muttered, looking around. Tatsuha didn't appear to be back yet. He padded into the kitchen, and pulled out a carton of juice, before entering the main room of the apartment and flopping down on the couch. He was about to turn on the TV, when the phone rang. He hopped out of his seat and answered it. 'Moshi--' 'Shuichi!' came the panicked voice of Shuichi's best friend, Hiro, 'thank god. I think…gyah. Ayaka's gone into labour.' Shuichi's eyes widened, 'Hiro…are you hyperventilating?' He quizzed. 'Shuichi! What am I supposed to do?' the other man pleaded. 'Okay okay…calm down. Urm…how about calling an ambulance? I'll---' The phone had cut off; obviously Hiro hadn't given a second thought and had followed Shuichi's suggestion. Shuichi had to resist the urge to laugh, it was unusual that anyone ever asked him for advice. He hung up the phone, and, deciding it best to go and make sure Hiro didn't die from panic, pulled on his shoes and dashed out of the apartment. **To Be Continued…** ----- **Footnotes:** Sorry, this chapter was very bad (and short at that). I had difficulty, as nothing really happens, and I have no good flashbacks to go with it -.- Next chapter will be an improvement, I promise! =D *waves white flag* Its allllll planned out *evil cackle* 


	4. Four

**Disclaimer:** Gravitation owned by Maki Murakami. Don't sue! **Notes:** Ahhh…chapter 4. Yay! Thankies again for all reviews *glomps* This chapter should have a lot in store…=D **WARNING:** Shounen-ai, hints of yaoi…maybe even some yaoi later. This means maleXmale partnerships. If you happen to disagree with this, the turn back now by hitting the "back" button. *Happens to wonder why you're reading Gravitation fanfiction* **Key-desu!** '…' = Speech _blahblah_ = flash back ---- For some strange reason, Yuki was always drawn to this park. He wasn't sure why, but then it held many memories and had the ability calm his nerves. He sat down, perched precariously on the rim of the parks water feature. He placed a hand either side of himself for support, and leant back. His head tilted towards the sky and he closed his eyes, allowing himself to relax. After a few moments of just allowing the wind to blow gently across his face, Yuki straightened his posture, and began to watch the world around him, observing. Although many people wouldn't believe it, Yuki was an avid people watcher; it's where he got his ideas for characters. It was a bright sunny day, early afternoon, and there were many mothers out with children, people rushing back to work after lunch and school kids hanging around, waiting for their lunch period to end. People just going about their daily lives. Yuki zoned out as he watched people pass by him, his mind deep in thought. He had found that lately his mind had been drifting more and more to the past, and Yuki was finding it harder to concentrate on everyday life. Yuki's watch beeped, snapping him out of his daze. He checked the time, reading it as one pm. He sighed, and stood, supposing he had best go back home to go to continue working. He would have to update his editor at the end of the day, but he'd gotten no sudden flash of inspiration from sitting around. Yuki stretched out his muscles and turned to walk away from the fountain, but the next thing he knew was that someone had collided with him and there was a loud splash. * Shuichi hadn't been looking where he was going, which is why he must have careened headfirst into the tall man in his rush. He somehow managed to stumble, and tripped over his own feet, straight into the parks fountain. The pink-haired vocalist found himself practically drowning in the shallow fountain. He gasped in a huge lungful of water before being able to pull himself to the surface. Shuichi choked and started coughing, attempting to get the water out of his lungs. 'Uguuu~' he whimpered, and braced his hands against the stone base of the water feature to hoist himself up. Only he found that someone was offering him a hand, to help him up. Not looking up, Shuichi took the offered help and was lifted to his feet. 'Ahh, gomen.' He muttered. He still hadn't looked up. 'I wasn't looking where I was going and…' Shuichi found himself looking up into a pair of very familiar eyes. 'Yuki…' his eyes widened, and in his shock he almost fell back underwater. He hadn't seen the man for two years, and the sudden unexpected meeting had his heart racing. He was still drastically in love with the man, he realised. 'Get out of the fountain, baka,' Yuki responded coldly, 'you'll catch your death.' Shuichi pulled himself out of the fountain, slowly and shyly. 'I'm…sorry. I didn't mean to run into you.' 'Its fine.' Shuichi noticed Yuki holding a cigarette, and almost commented on the fact that he thought his ex-lover had given up. He stopped himself just in time, remembering it was none of his business. 'Well…I better get going,' Shuichi waved his hand in the direction he had been going. He turned to leave, but Yuki touched his shoulder to stop him. The taller man held out a hand, offering his coat to Shuichi. 'Take it. Its cold and you'll catch the flu,' he stated simply. Shuichi accepted the coat quietly and clutched it tightly in his hands, but before he got to say a word of thanks, the other man had walked away and was far down the path in the opposite direction Shuichi needed to go. Shuichi sighed, and watched the other man go. He stared hard at the coat in his hands. Yuki's coat. Shuichi shivered, Yuki was right, it was freezing, and just another sign that winter was around the corner. He shrugged off his own jacket and wrapped Yuki's around his shoulders. The hospital was closer than his apartment, and he supposed he could always ask the nurses for scrubs to wear. With a sigh, Shuichi trundled along on his way to hospital. * Two years give or take a little. And Yuki had seen him again, for the first time in what seemed like ages. As he walked away, he had to resist the urge of looking back. There was still a connection between them, no matter how desperately Yuki had tried to destroy it. 'Why did I finish it?' he murmured to himself, walking down the road towards his apartment. _"I felt trapped…I loved him, and I couldn't stand it."_ 'That makes me an idiot.' _"You're talking to yourself again"_ Yuki brought a hand up to his face and pinched the bridge of his nose. True, he was beginning to feel like he was loosing it. He looked up at his apartment building, finally aware that he had arrived. Yuki sighed; he didn't want to be here. 'I need a break,' he muttered, and turned away from the large white building and looked around, attempting to think of where he could possibly go. Why did it always seem like he was running away? Yuki shook his head, and continued down the road, wandering aimlessly. His mind stayed focused on Shuichi for some reason, and he wondered where the man had been in such a rush too. 'Maybe I should've asked,' he mused. _"If you hadn't of let him go, maybe you'd be dashing to wherever with him." _ *** _Shuichi stood looking up at the apartment, rucksack slung over one shoulder and a duffle bang held in his hands. All his possessions in the world were held in the bags. The night was, ironically, nice and calming, playing against Shuichi's emotions. All he wanted to do was scream at the unfairness of it all. His heart was breaking, bit by bit, he could swear he felt it in his chest. He turned away from the white structure, and looked down the road, calculating what he would do next. He didn't want to bother Hiro and Ayaka. Why should they put up with his problems? They were happy together. He shook his head; no, he wouldn't run to Hiro. His sister? No…He wouldn't run to her either. 'I'm need to be independent,' he murmured to himself, his mind formulated a plan. He need to get away, he decided. He slowly started on his way down the road, his feet taking him to the nearest train station._ *** _After leaving Shuichi behind, with his final decision, Yuki had gotten in his car and driven, not really giving a damn where he ended up. He needed to get away from the tearful 'Why's?' and pleadings. Unaware of it, Yuki arrived outside the Obaida Amusement Park…their first date location. He sat in his care, staring up at the Park, and silently cursed himself for not paying attention. Of course he would unconsciously end up here, his mind so full of Shuichi. He leaned back in the drivers seat, closing his eyes and wondering if he had done the right thing. 'Of course,' he stated, 'of course I have.' There was little strength in his words, and Yuki doubted he really had._ *** Shuichi hoisted up the scrub pants and attempted to secure them on his hips, but failed. He held the waistband securely in one hand as he practically waddled over to the vending machine. The nurses at the hospital had been "kind" enough to give Shuichi a change of clothes, which happened to be the too big scrubs he was currently wearing. Unless he was being self conscious, he could swear certain people were leering at him. He sweatdropped, and surveyed what was on offer in the machine, finally selecting a packet of pocky and some canned tea. He returned to the waiting room where Maiko and Suguru were sitting, along with a sleeping Hiro. 'Why are we even here?' Suguru asked when Shuichi returned. 'Because Hiro lost it and panicked, so we're here to help,' Shuichi stated, pulling open the can and taking a sip. 'And also because Ayaka-chan will be in need of a moron who doesn't throw a spazz fit…' Maiko jerked a thumb towards Hiro. After just ten minutes in the hospital room, Hiro had been kicked out for "causing to much stress" on the staff and the expectant mother. Not that Shuichi blamed the midwife; Hiro was in a rather panicked state. 'I thought he had been all calm over the birth…' Suguru continued. Shuichi shrugged and Maiko pinched his tea off of him. 'Oi!' He chibified and attempted to snatch the tea back, failing miserably once he had to stop in order to pull up his scrub bottoms for what seemed like the one hundredth millionth time. 'Does anyone have a rope?' He asked, desperate for something to secure his pants to his body. 'All out, Onii-chan. How exactly **did** you manage to soak yourself, again?' 'I tripped, and fell in a pond. Its not so hard.' Shuichi had kept quiet about his run in with Yuki. But he now had the dilemma of getting the other man's coat back to him. Shuichi sighed as his sister looked at him disbelievingly. 'Baka,' she muttered, taking another sip of the stolen tea. Grumbling, Shuichi started in on his pocky. It was then that Tatsuha decided to arrive and managed to wake up the deep sleeping Hiro. 'Huh--wha? Babies?' The frazzled man babbled as he woke up. Tatsuha shook his head and dropped into a seat next to Shuichi, who had taken some precautions in protecting his pocky from being stolen. 'No news?' the dark haired man asked. 'No news.' Hiro looked around the room, 'Don't you all have lives to live?' He asked, 'Why are you all here?' 'Well, Hiro, it all started with your mental breakdown. We decided to keep an eye on you.' Shuichi nibbled on a piece of pocky. 'Oh.' Hiro blinked, 'Is the baby here yet?' Everyone shook their head in unison. 'Its only been four hours. Kaa-san said she was in labour with Onii-chan for almost twenty-four.' Maiko pondered. 'Always a pain in the butt, eh, Shu?' Shuichi pouted, unable to think of anything to say in his defence. And the hours ticked by. *** _Yuki sat in Shuichi's dressing room, waiting for the boy to finish his concert. He was passing the time by playing with a hand held games console he had found lying around the room. Suddenly, Kei burst into the room, his magnum loaded and ready to fire. 'Where is the little brat? I'll kill him.' 'Kei-san! Calm down,' a panicked (as per usual) Sakano attempted to get the American to put the gun away. Yuki sweatdropped, and quickly hid the games console under a throw pillow on the couch he was sitting on, hoping no one would pay any attention to it. Reasoning that the slightly scary American was talking about Shuichi, he asked; 'Whats he done now?' Kei turned on Yuki, gun still in hand. Yuki attempted to hide in the cushions. 'He's run off…in his stage outfit. Completely vanished. Boom.' Hiro ran into the room. 'Ahhh, Kei-san, good. Shuichi says to tell you he's sorry, but he's had to dash to the hospital, because--' Yuki snapped to attention, and quickly dashed out of the room, worried about Shuichi. The blonde haired man managed to arrive at the hospital in record time. "What could be wrong?" Ran through his mind. "What happened to Shuichi?" He found the boy standing in the waiting room, looking uncomfortable and out of place. He was wearing what you could call…well…slut-wear. Yuki stared. 'YUKI! What are you doing here?' Shuichi threw himself at the man. 'You were worried about my imouto?' "Imouto?" 'Huh? No…I thought you were…--' Yuki cut himself off, realising his mistake. 'WAI! Yuki was worried about me!' Shuichi proceeded to do a little dance. Pissed off, Yuki dragged Shuichi away to a less public place. 'Uresai.' He muttered. Shuichi looked at him with a bright expression but fell quiet. 'What happened?' 'Maiko got knocked off her bike by some jerk taxi driver and got kinda beaten up on the fall. She's broken her ankle and cracked some ribs.' 'Is that why you ran off?' Yuki asked suspiciously. 'Hai~.' Yuki sighed a breath of relief. At least Shuichi wasn't hurt. He looked his lover up and down. 'Nice outfit, very... revealing,' he slid his long coat off his shoulders and put in around Shuichi's. 'Un. Its cool isn't it?' 'If you're a hooker.' 'Huh?' 'Nothing,' Yuki completed his task of doing up the buttons on the coat, successfully hiding Shuichi's outfit and pinning the boys arms firmly to his sides. 'Yuki…I can't move,' Shuichi wiggled. 'We'll have to get costume design to tone down your outfits a bit,' Yuki said possessively. 'Your manager is out for your blood by the way. I suppose you better get back.' 'Yuki…I can't move,' the boy repeated. 'Good,' He leaned towards Shuichi and their lips met in a kiss._ *** It had now been seven hours since Hiro's panicked call to Shuichi, and there was still no baby. Hiro had resorted to pacing. Suguru and Maiko had both fallen asleep. Tatsuha had wandered off somewhere. Shuichi sat, deep in thought, wondering how he was going to get Yuki's coat back to him, without seeing the man again. He could give it to Tatsuha, but then he'd have to explain what really happened at the park, and for some strange reason he didn't want to. He could leave it at work one day, and hope Seguchi-san picked it up or something. No. He shook his head. It wouldn't do. He resolved that he would just have to return it himself. He sighed and watched Hiro pace. It made him feel nervous. 'Hey, Hiro. Why don't you sit down?' The man shook his head and continued his pacing. Shuichi rolled his eyes, it was unlike Hiro too lose his cool, but now that he had, it was rather funny. They sat in silence for a while, the only sound was Hiro's footsteps on the floor. Shuichi pondered leaving to complete his task of returning Yuki's coat. He watched Hiro a bit, noticing that his best friend hand taken to punch his hand with his other fist to calm his nerves. Maybe it wouldn't be such a good idea, Hiro might loose it again. There was a knock on the door of the waiting room, and a mousy looking nurse entered. Shuichi recognised her as one of nurses who had been willing to give him his scrubs. She blushed when she looked at him, and looked to Hiro quickly. 'Anou. Nakano-san…you're wife is asking for you.' She bowed, 'And I'd just like to say congratulations.' Hiro stopped his pacing and dashed out of the room, almost knocking the nurse over in his rush. She looked after him, startled. 'Ah, I'd like to apologize on Hiro's behalf. He's a bit highly strung. Are you okay?' Shuichi asked. The nurse blushed a deep shade of red. Shuichi almost gulped. Fans tended to be scary, he hoped the nurse wouldn't do anything that could be classified as "fangirlish". 'H-hai. Thank you Shindou-san,' she scampered out of the room. Shuichi breathed a sigh of relief and decided to budge his sister and Suguru awake. 'Oiiiii.' He hissed. 'Get lost, Onii-chan,' Maiko snapped, waking up immediately. Suguru took a bit more coaxing. 'What is it?' 'The baby's here. Hiro just ran off.' * Shuichi walked back through the park on his way home. Ayaka and Hiro had had a boy, deciding on the name Hijiri. Maiko wouldn't leave the hospital because she was too busy fawning over the poor little thing and going all maternal, worrying Suguru. Tatsuha had stayed behind with them, much to Shuichi's relief. He would be able to stop at Yuki's the same night, and finish his "task" without having to stew on it. He stopped outside the familiar apartment building and gathered some courage. He had no idea why he was so nervous. He looked down at himself, and realised he was still wearing the scrubs the nurses has given to him. Damn. Maybe he should go home and change first. He shook his head, and decided to just get it over with. He entered the building. 'I haven't been in here for two years,' he mused to himself, making his way to Yuki's apartment. Hesitantly he knocked on the door. There was no response for a while, and Shuichi realised how late it was. Maybe Yuki was asleep? Oh, he would just come back tomorrow then. There was the sound of locks clicking undone and Shuichi froze as the door opened. He came face to face with Yuki for the second time that day. The other man's golden eyes widened. 'What are you doing here?' he demanded. 'I--I-I cam to return your coat. Thank you for lending it to me,' Shuichi held the coat out for Yuki to take. The taller man opened the door wider and stepped back. 'You realise what time it is, ne?' He asked, yawning. 'Er--hai. Gomen ne,' Shuichi bowed, still holding out the coat. 'Come in,' Yuki requested. Shuichi looked up in shock. 'I-' But Yuki had vanished inside the apartment. Shuichi sighed and hesitantly entered the familiar space, slipping off his shoes. 'I only came to return your coat,' he avoided adding Yuki's name to the end of his statement for some reason. It was all too familiar. 'And I'm making you tea to thank you for returning it so quickly,' Yuki exited from his kitchen, handed Shuichi a cup and took the coat off the man. 'You can sit down.' Shuichi felt so uncomfortable. Nothing had changed since he had last been here, leaving the apartment for what he had thought was the last time. Obviously, fate had other ideas. The two man sat in silence as they drunk their tea. 'Well…I bet be going,' Shuichi set down the half finished cup on the coffee table and stood. 'Fine.' Yuki stood with him, intending to show Shuichi out. 'Thanks for the tea…' Shuichi just stood there, unable to move. He wanted to touch Yuki, to feel his skin…to kiss him again. _"I miss you,"_ he thought. And he wasn't quite sure what happened, who moved first, but Shuichi found himself embraced by the arms he had been so desperate to have round him, and was embracing back. He stopped himself from whispering the other man's name. _"Are you going to hurt me again, Yuki? Whats happening?"_ They were in the bedroom, Shuichi's shirt had been discarded as had Yuki's. Everything went by so fast, Shuichi barely had time to register anything. Yuki pushed him back onto the familiar bed. Shuichi looked up at the man, masking his emotions as best as he could. _"I won't let you hurt me again."_ Yuki straddled Shuichi and their lips met in another kiss… **To Be Continued…**


	5. Five

**Disclaimer:** …I don't own Gravitation…*goes and sulks in a corner* **Notes:** Thankies for the reviews! All are much appreciated! =D *Emily gives everyone candy* I feel like such a crappy writer. I don't do sap or mushy stuff x.X so bear with me. Honestly >| **WARNING:** Shounen-ai, hints of yaoi…maybe even some yaoi later. This means maleXmale partnerships. If you happen to disagree with this, then turn back now by hitting the "back" button. *Happens to wonder why you're reading Gravitation fanfiction* Key-desu! '…' = Speech _blahblah_ = flash back ---- Yuki snapped awake, breathing hard. He had just had a very confusing dream, in which Shuichi was forcing him to make a choice. Memories of the night before swept into his brain, and he rolled over to look at the person he thought was sleeping next to him. His eyes widened when he found Shuichi had gone. _"Maybe he went to the bathroom,"_ he thought, sitting up. 'Shuichi?' he called out. There was no response. Yuki got out of bed and went to have a look. Shuichi's clothes were gone off the floor; his bag wasn't in the living room. _"It wasn't anything important…you weren't getting back together,"_ his subconscious nagged. Yuki's shoulders slumped. He supposed it was too much to hope for…and Shuichi had been so…cold. Almost as though there were no feelings towards Yuki at all anymore. But that couldn't be true, could it? Yuki shivered. Maybe this time…he had really blown all his chances with Shuichi. * Shuichi, for the second time that morning, had practically taken a nosedive into his coffee. He blinked, and stared at the cooling brown liquid. He wasn't a coffee person, but he felt the need for a caffeine rush, and this had been the closest thing available at the small café he was currently sitting in. He had left Yuki's two hours ago, not waking the man up to say so. Now, he felt bad about it… Shuichi had hoped they would be able to rebuild a relationship, one stronger than before. He wouldn't of whined or bugged Yuki so much. He had grown up a bit after all. But Yuki wouldn't want a relationship, right? It was probably just sex, after all. Shuichi took a sip of his coffee and winced. Probably. Supposing he should make his way home (he had been out all night - oh damn, what was Tatsuha gonna ask?) he discarded his polystyrene coffee cup and half its contents, paid for it and left the café. He hitched up his too big scrub pants and shuffled along the road in a hope they wouldn't fall down. It may have been early, but it didn't mean fans wouldn't attack. He looked around warily. His life, to him, seemed nothing less than complicated. When he wasn't worrying about fans attacking (meep; he noticed a girl looking at him contemplatively and hurried along), he was worrying about work, and now he was worried about a possible-one-night-stand-that-he-didn't-want-to-be-a-one-night-stand with Yuki. What was he going to do? Maybe he shouldn't of left without saying anything? Too late to do anything about that now, ne? He could always go back and apologise and ask the question he was dieing to ask. Shuichi was so deep in thought he didn't notice Sakuma Ryuichi waving to him. In fact, he didn't notice at all as he walked straight into his idol. 'Uff!' 'Shuichi!' the overly genki man chirped, glomping onto Shuichi. 'Ohayouuuuu!' 'S--Sakuma-san!' Shuichi almost choked with shock. Wasn't it a bit to early for anyone to be out and about? And how could Ryuichi be so …cheerful? 'Ohayou.' He managed to smile. 'What are you doing out so early?' Ryuichi's pink bunny was produced and the man waved Kumagorou about. 'Kuma wanted to go for a walk na no da!' Ryuichi made the pink rabbit toy wave at Shuichi. 'Hello Kumagorou!' 'Hello Shu-chan no da!' The two (or three if you saw it from Ryuichi's point of view) started up one of their usual conversations about nothing much at all. Ryuichi ran off to buy ice cream for them, leaving Shuichi sitting on a wall with Kumagorou too "look after him". Shuichi looked at Ryuichi's beloved toy. 'Ah, life must be pretty simple for you. What do you think I should do? Tell Yuki how I feel?' Amazing, the stuff toy appeared to be looking at him confused. Shuichi stared. 'Yeah, I guess you're right Kuma. I shouldn't ask you.' He couldn't ask Ryuichi either, he feared he would upset his friend. There was no one he could ask. 'I'll have to figure it out myself,' he concluded. Ryuichi arrived back and shoved a strawberry ice cream cone towards Shuichi. 'Breakfast!' he smiled, and began sharing his mint choc chip with Kumagorou. 'Kumagorou is stealing my ice cream!' Shuichi watched as Ryuichi fought with his Kuma. _"Yes, I'll definitely have to decide for myself,"_ he thought, slowly devouring his ice cream. A girl hesitantly walked up to them. "Anou…Shindou-san? May I have your autograph?" She asked, offering out a pad. Shuichi was caught off guard, he hadn't been watching for fans. Ryuichi pounced and started yipping at Shuichi about autographs. 'Sure,' he said, happily as he could, 'who for?' 'Urm…my name is Amaya. Amaya Kaori. The autograph is for me. I'm a big fan of Bad Luck.' Shuichi quickly wrote out some lame message to the girl and signed her notepad. She blushed as he handed the pad back to her and bowed deeply. 'Arigatou Shindou-san!' She smiled. Shuichi watched as the girl ran off, bright red. She had vivid (and obviously dyed) red hair, cropped short and spiked. Nothing unusual about that meeting; although something about the girl had made Shuichi uncomfortable. 'Ne, Sakuma-san?' 'Oee?' 'Want to come and see Tatsuha? I gotta get on home…wanna come?' Ryuichi bounced out of his seat. 'WAI! Tatsuha-kun! You hear that Kuma no da?' Shuichi laughed and the two men headed back to his apartment. * It was roughly nine pm when Shuichi managed to get away from hanging out with Tatsuha and Ryuichi. He left the two in his apartment, claiming he needed to go get more drinks. He had resolved, once again, to go and see Yuki. He wasn't going to stand there and stutter this time. And he certainly wasn't going to end up in the other mans bed, although it would be nice. 'No…I'm going to get an honest answer.' * Yuki had spent the day doing nothing. Blissful nothingness. It would have been better if he'd had more beer, but he was too lazy to go and buy more, so the last box of cigarettes he had would have to be good enough to aid his moping. Not that he would tell anyone he was moping. He turned off his TV and sat in the silence, his head resting on the back of the sofa. He was just drifting off, when the doorbell rang. At first, he ignored, glaring only towards the door in response. The ringing stopped and he relaxed back into the silence. Then someone started hammering on the door. 'Goddamit,' Yuki hauled himself out of his seat, and glared, 'this better not be Tohma with one of his spaghetti meals.' He grumbled and went to open the door. The hammering got louder, it was almost as if the person on the other side of the door was nervous and wanted to see him soon. Yuki unlatched the lock, opened the heavy wooden door and met the floor with a pink-haired man on top of him. 'Ah! Yuki! Gomen!' Shuichi squeaked and hopped back up to his feet. Yuki resisted the urge to throw Shuichi out. The man had just left with no explanation just hours before; why was he back now? He said nothing and stared at Shuichi. 'Ah…urm…anou--' Shuichi twirled his index fingers around each other nervously. 'Yuki…I-' Shuichi threw his hands down by his sides. 'I'm sorry…I just-' 'Why did you leave?' There was a tense silence between the two. Yuki turned away from Shuichi and stood. 'Yuki…' Shuichi hesitated again. It was really beginning to piss Yuki off. 'I left because- well- I was worried. You don't love me and so I didn't want you to kick me out again, so I left, haha, which probably doesn't make much sense but oh well.' The only thing I really wanted to ask was…it been driving me mad all day. I mean, if it was, then fine okay, the sex was good and all, but was last night…just last night? A one off? Nothing?' Shuichi rambled suddenly, his face looking heartbroken already. Yuki looked at the man, his eyes softening, reminded of the night he had said it was over; Shuichi's face was exactly the same. 'What do you want it to be?' Yuki turned away, not being able to take the look anymore. 'That's not what I asked! Don't play games, Yuki Eiri,' the shorter man's voice sounded so determined, different. Shuichi had grown up. 'I want a straight answer. Are we back together or not? Because---because! I'm not going to play along. If you don't want me, just tell me!' Unable to respond in any other way, Yuki whirled round, startling Shuichi, and wrapped the pink haired man in a hug. 'I'm sorry Shuichi,' he whispered into his lovers' hair. 'Eh?' 'I'm sorry for the past two years. Will you come back to me?' They stood there, Yuki embracing Shuichi, while Shuichi stood shocked, arms dangling limply at his sides. It appeared to take Shuichi a while to register Yuki's words, but slowly, he moved his arms to reciprocate the hug. 'Yuki…' *** _It was late at night, and Shuichi was attempting to sleep. Well, he would have been sleeping (and he was very tired too) if his lover, Yuki, weren't snoring so goddamn loudly. 'Yuki!' He attempted once more, trying to wake the man. He poked him in the ribs, kissed him, even bit his ear! Nothing worked. 'Uwa~ Yuki, I have to work tomorrow.' Sighing, Shuichi pulled a pillow over his head and tried to sleep again. Yuki shifted in his sleep, rolled over and possessively glomped onto Shuichi, succeeding in snoring right into Shuichi's ear. It wasn't all the time that Yuki hugged him in his sleep, and Shuichi would have been thankful for it; if he had been asleep and could comfortably relax back into the hug. 'Snore…' Yuki's mouth was right near the pink haired man's ear. Shuichi squirmed in the hug, but Yuki tightened his grip. 'YUKI!' No luck. Shuichi only had one alternative. After ten minutes of tackling, Shuichi was out of Yuki's vice like hug. Now, for his master plan. He rolled Yuki over to the edge of the bed, winding the covers around the man in the process. It didn't occur to him that he could simply go sleep on the couch, which was too much of a complex idea. Shuichi tended to use the first "good" idea that entered his brain. Carefully he dragged Yuki off the bed (taking care of his darling's head; didn't want to get killed) and through the living room. He paused by the balcony door to unlatch it and open it. The night was warm and starry. At least Yuki wouldn't freeze. Shuichi quickly dashed into the bedroom to retrieve a pillow and finished off his idea, resting Yuki to sleep out on the balcony. He would miss sleeping with the man, but he did need to sleep after all. Feeling accomplished, he scampered sleepily back to the bedroom to sleep. * Yuki awoke the next morning to the bright sun. Or maybe it was a torch? No, definitely the sun. Hang on. Wait a minute. 'What the fuck am I doing on the balcony?' He attempted to recall the events of the previous night, and recount whether he had gotten drunk or not, or if this was some weird place he and Shuichi had ended up after…ahem. No. Everything was nice and tidy; no mishaps. So how had he managed to end up on the stone cold floor of his balcony? Only one person could answer that question. Unravelling himself from the comforter; he stomped into the bedroom where Shuichi was sleeping happily thanks to the snore-free-Yuki zone. Yuki watched the baka sleeping for a while, a fond smile on his face. He shook his head, ridding himself of the "cute" thoughts and dropped softly onto the bed, hovering over Shuichi. Carefully, he leaned into to kiss the man to wake him up. Before their lips met, he grasped Shuichi's hands, firmly pinning them to his sides and whispered; 'Are you the one who put me on the balcony? Because idiots like you should be punished.'_ *** A month passed; Shuichi and Yuki had begun rebuilding their relationship, yet failed to tell anyone that they were back together as agreed. Shuichi had asked Yuki if he minded…but obviously not. Hiro and Ayaka's baby, Hijiri, was safe and healthy, much to everyone's joy. Shuichi had been given the role of uncle. Tatsuha was still staying with Shuichi, refusing to go back to Kyoto even when Mika threatened him with a bread knife. It had taken Tohma, Shuichi and Ryuichi (who had been crying) to pry the crazy woman off her little brother. So, everything was well. * 'Eiri! Open the door, Goddamit, Eiri!' Yuki opened the door for his Aneki grudgingly, glared at her and let her in. 'How long does it take? Honestly, I've been knocking for the best part of fifteen minutes. Quarter of an hour of my life gone, waiting for you.' 'Go find someone else to pester then.' Mika rolled her eyes and strode straight into the living room. _"She walks around like she owns the damn place,"_ Yuki thought. 'Do you have any idea what our darling little brother is up to these days?' Ah, so this was another "You corrupted him" rant. Yuki said nothing and responded in no way at all. 'Honestly he is just like you. A playboy to no ends,' Mika raved, hands on hips, 'he refuses to go back to the temple and do his duties. Father, Kami-sama rest his soul, is probably turning in his grave right now!' Yuki gave his elder sister a "What does this have to do with me look", but obviously, Mika was paying little attention and just needed someone to take her stress out on. 'Is there any point in this visit other than to piss me off?' 'Eiri! If you had of become a responsible adult and taken your place as head of the temple, we wouldn't have this problem. This is all your fault!' 'Tell me something you haven't told me before. This is getting old.' Mika sighed. 'I don't see why I bother.' 'You should stop bothering,' he offered helpfully. Why did she have to always act like a mother? 'Eiri, are you okay?' Mika observed the apartment, which was currently dark (the drapes were closed) with a few beer cans littering the table as well an overflowing ashtray. 'Yes.' 'You really need to get a girlfriend. Maybe they could clean this place up.' Yuki narrowed his eyes; 'I like it the way it is,' he said indignantly. 'I'm going to go and work. Leave whenever you want, just don't bother me.' _"Leave now, Shuichi'll be here soon."_ Yuki didn't want to risk awkward questions. He closed his office door behind him and sat down at his desk. He heard his sister begin to protest and ignored it. Five minutes later, his door slammed and his apartment was silent again. * 'I have to go.' Shuichi said suddenly, sitting in Hiro and Ayaka's lounge. He was holding baby Hijiri; with Hiro hovering around behind him to make sure Shuichi didn't drop the child. Ayaka looked up from her book and looked at Hiro. Hiro raised an eyebrow at Shuichi. 'You seem to "have to go" a lot lately. Who are they?' Shuichi blushed, and returned Hijiri to his father. 'Who is who?' 'He's talking about your new flame. Apparently, you rarely spend nights at home anymore, Shuichi,' Ayaka said. 'That's a lie! And there is nobody!' Shuichi protested weakly. 'Of course, Shuichi…' 'Hmpph. Nice to know my friends believe me! I'm going now. Ja ne,' Shuichi glared jokingly at them and left. 'I bet its Eiri-san,' Ayaka said quietly. * Shuichi stretched out and yawned, before settling back into the mattress. 'Mmm, Yuki…' 'What?' came the sleepy reply. Shuichi cuddled back up to the blonde haired man. Everything felt so right and safe, Shuichi felt bad about breaking the moment. 'I have to go back to work. Kei-san ordered us back today.' Yuki opened his eyes and looked at Shuichi; 'And you stayed here the night before…because?' 'I'd prefer to spend time with you and be late for work.' He gave Yuki a quick kiss on the cheek, before grudgingly getting out of the bed. 'This isn't staying and spending time with me, Shu-chan,' Yuki protested. 'Ahh, gomen, gomen. I just thought; Kei-san mentioned something about machine guns. And Sakano-san has been rather on edge lately. I don't wanna be the cause of the poor guys death.' Shuichi winked cheekily, 'I'll come see you tonight, okay? I promise.' With that, the cheerful pink haired man left the room, leaving Yuki alone in the quiet. Shuichi carefully closed the apartments door behind him and, huge smile in place, strolled down the corridor. It was good to be back with Yuki; sure things weren't exactly the same but he was happy again. He opened the door for someone as he left, letting her through. The girl bowed her head to him, and Shuichi thought he recognised her for a second. She looked at him with wide panicked eyes for a second, before hurrying along. Shuichi watched her go for a while, trying to place her. Eventually, he shrugged it off and left the apartment building for work. * There was a slow knock at the door, followed by a frenzied buzzing of the buzzer. Yuki got out of bed quickly, hoping Shuichi had returned. The knocking did sound a lot like Shuichi's, although something was a little off. He silently cursed the other man, though, for refusing to take a key. But, as long as Shuichi had come back to spend more time with him, it didn't matter. 'I'm coming!' Yuki said, opening the door. A blur of red crashed into him, arms wrapped around his waist. Yuki looked down to see a girl with her head buried on his chest. 'Yuki-sama…' **To Be Continued…**


	6. Six

**Disclaimer:** …I don't own Gravitation…*goes and sulks in a corner* **Notes:** w00t, *glomps all readers* You guys rule =D Sorry for the long wait ^.^; No beating me with a stick for this chapter (Vay has done that job well enough for j00). Yes; I know I am very evil. WARNING: Shounen-ai, hints of yaoi…maybe even some yaoi later. This means maleXmale partnerships. If you happen to disagree with this, then turn back now by hitting the "back" button. *Happens to wonder why you're reading Gravitation fanfiction* Key-desu! '…' = Speech _blahblah_ = flash back _"La li ho"_ = thoughts ---- Shuichi, amazingly, got to work before Suguru and Hiro. He entered the studio to find Kei and Sakano sitting and having a cup of tea in peace. It felt odd to be back at work, but brilliantly uplifting. It really felt like nothing had changed in the past two years. He had never been apart from his Yuki. He grinned widely and waved to Bad Luck's producer and manager. 'La li HO!' 'Ohayou, Shindou-kun,' Sakano bowed his head. 'You seem cheerful this morning.' 'Ahahahaha, its just so great to be back at work,' Shuichi beamed, semi-lying. Kei looked inquisitively at Shuichi; 'You're early.' He said simply. Kei always said things so plainly. Shuichi looked at the clock; 'Nope, Hiro and Suguru are just late~~' he said triumphantly, making himself some tea and sitting on a stool. He shifted uncomfortably on his seat in the silence, as Kei and Sakano were quite happy to sit in silence and it was already driving him mad after a second or so. Shuichi sat back and thought back over the past month, a small smile curling over his face. Things; they were so much better. * Yuki sat in silence, watching the girl talk nervously. The words seemed to just fall out of her mouth with an awkward stutter, but they still had an awful heart stopping effect on Yuki. Everything was going to fall apart again; the bliss of having Shuichi back was going to go and Shuichi would never want to see him again. Yuki couldn't keep this a secret; there was no way and he wouldn't want to anyway, it was too low down. It'd be like paying a whore off. 'Yuki-sama, don't you even remember me?' The girl, Amaya Kaori was her name, asked quietly. Her eyes were glistening with tears and she still wore a panicked look, the same one she had had on her face the whole time. And there was a hint of…hope? Yuki didn't quite trust her. 'Do you have any proof?' he asked coldly. She nodded; her head bouncing back and forth at such a rate Yuki thought her head may simply roll off. 'I can get some, if you want it. But…Yuki-sama--' He glared at her and she shrunk back into the wall she was standing by. Yuki refused to let her sit and act like his apartment was home. '--I…I was hoping you'd take my word! Do you remember--' 'Do you honestly expect me to remember everyone I sleep with?' He kept his voice level, although all he really wanted to do was shout and boot the wretched girl out of his apartment. She hung her head and said nothing. 'Get me proof. Then I'll believe you.' 'Yuki-sama, please. I swear, I am not lying. I'm so worried, my family…they'll disown me! Please, please…help.' 'Give me proof. I need to think. I don't trust you.' She stared at him, almost in disbelief. Yuki felt anger run through his veins, did the stupid bitch honestly expect him to trust her? Without another word, the girl left. Yuki couldn't hope that she wouldn't be back. Every part of his life was bad luck, and anything that was good was lost. * Shuichi had spent the day bouncing around the studio happily, trying out the new arrangement with Suguru and perfecting it, and just generally enjoying being with his friends. It seemed in the time he had gotten back together with Yuki, he had seen less of the people who he cared for most. But there was always a gnawing guilt eating away at him for keeping his relationship with Yuki secret this time. But he didn't have a choice, did he? He stepped outside into the dimming daylight and waved goodbye to Hiro who set off in the opposite direction to him. Suguru had stayed behind in order to play with the arrangement. Shuichi meandered along and pulled out his cell phone, switching it on for the first time that day. After the sim-card loaded, the phone beeped, indicating a message. The young man quickly directed his attention to his Inbox and read the text message. His heart soared as he noted it was from Yuki, who rarely, if ever, sent text messages. **_"Shuichi. I'm busy tonight; so don't come to my place. Call me later."_** Shuichi's heart sank and for a fleeting moment he worried. Was Yuki already losing interest? No, he thought positively, Yuki wouldn't. Couldn't. But his hope wavered and his good mood dissipated. He shuffled home, to find the apartment empty. Tatsuha had gone out with Ayaka and Hijiri for the day, while Bad Luck was working. Shuichi wished momentarily that he had told everyone about his reformed relationship with Yuki, because then he would have someone to help him get rid of his stupid worries. After all, they were stupid, right? * Yuki sat in the stunned silence of his apartment when the real worries began to hit him. Deep in his gut, he had a feeling what the girl said was true. She was willing to give proof; so she couldn't be lying… Head resting in his palms, Yuki felt a mixture of fear and self hate run through his veins. If her proof was well…plausible proof, he'd have to break the news to Shuichi, and there was no way the other man would want anything to do with him, not when Yuki had a child to look after. And that wasn't the only person he'd have to support, the girl was in hysterics over her family kicking her out. Strict and traditional; is all she had said. Yuki groaned, having no idea what to do. He had turned Shuichi away for the night, leaving himself to the scrambled thoughts in his head. With a sigh, he tilted his head back and decided a course of action. First, he would have a drink to attempt and clear his thoughts. He wouldn't let Shuichi know, not yet. There would be a time for that. And in the end, the way things go would be Shuichi's decision. Yes, that sounded reasonable; Yuki only cared about Shuichi, not the idiot girl he had a pointless relationship with or the possible child that was his. All that mattered was Shuichi. * Days passed and everything on the Yuki front was quiet. Shuichi had not seen the man for three days and his guts were slowly turning into knots of worry. Had he made some stupid, irreparable mistake to make the blonde hate him, forever? He wished desperately for someone to talk to…but worried over telling anyone of his secret relationship. Currently, he sat on his couch, staring blankly at the equally blank walls. Faintly through his daydream haze he could hear Tatsuha and Ryuichi chattering away over what colour was best suited to coat Shuichi's apartment in. Taking the task to decorate upon themselves (and making sure Shuichi helped) they were now bickering over paints. 'Kumagorou likes the pink no da. It should be pink. Shuichi's hair is pink. And some blue to match his eyes!' Ryuichi poked his tongue out at Tatsuha. Tatsuha gritted his teeth and selected another colour card. 'I think a green would be good.' 'PINK PINK PINK! Shu-chaaaaaan, pink ne?' 'Huh?' Shuichi was confronted with Ryuichi's pleading face. 'Shu-chan's not listening to me!' Snapped violently out of his daze, Shuichi looked from Ryuichi to Tatsuha. 'Urm…sorry, what are you talking about?' The two men looked at each other for a moment, before Ryuichi pounced upon Shuichi. Held in Ryuichi's vice like grip, Shuichi squirmed as Tatsuha tickled him. 'STOP…sTOP!!!' He rasped, wriggling to get free. 'Nuuuu, Shuichi's gotta promise to listen!' 'Okay…' Shuichi gasped in air, 'I-I-promise…just STOP.' The attack stopped and Shuichi stared at his two friends. 'Okay, okay, I'll pay attention.' 'Good. Now, what do you prefer, the pink or the green?' * A week later, Yuki had heard nothing from the girl and his nerves began to relax. He was exhausted from worrying and cutting himself off from Shuichi had been hell. It to be a bluff, this whole father thing, surely? She would've come back sooner. Yuki picked up his cell phone, but hesitated…Shuichi would probably hate him now. But he needed to see him, explain the situation…he pressed the two on the keypad, the speed dial for Shuichi. Too his surprise the young man was all to eager to come and see him and in no time at all, the bundle of pink haired energy was in his apartment. 'Yuki! I've been worried! Were you ill? Why didn't you call me? You told me not call you just in case…but you're so mean!' All thoughts of telling Shuichi why he hadn't seen him flew out of Yuki's head, as he became consumed with the mere presences of the Bad Luck vocalist. 'Shuichi…I'm sorry.' Before the other man could respond, Yuki's lips met Shuichi's and all matters of the short separation were forgotten in the simple show of passion. It was much later when the two disentangled from each other, much to Yuki's disgruntlement. 'Yu~ki, how am I supposed to leave if you keep taking off the clothes I put on,' Shuichi attempted to free his wrist from Yuki's grip while putting his t-shirt back on for the fifth time as well as trying to look for his long ago discarded jeans. 'Shu, you keep trying to run away when you shouldn't.' Sighing the other man allowed himself to be drawn towards his lover. 'You're to persistent Yuki.' Too Shuichi's shock Yuki almost pouted. 'I'm just possessive with my Shu-chan, who wants to run away and spend time with my brother.' Yuki's hot breath was on Shuichi's neck, his tongue trailing little circles on the flesh there, elucidating a sharp shiver from within Shuichi. Yuki pulled away, a smirk on his face. 'You're so cruel, Yuki,' Shuichi pouted, leant forward and delivered a quick kiss. 'You know I can't stay. I have to buy paint to decorate the apartment.' 'Fine. Leave me,' Yuki teased, poking Shuichi. 'I don't want to go,' Shuichi whined, 'but I have to. After buying paint, I have to go to dinner with Hiro and Ayaka, who finally got a babysitter for Hijiri.' After a dozen more distractions to attempt and make him stay, Shuichi was out of the door, practically skipping down the halls, so happy his heels barely touched the floor. Everything was fine with Yuki. At the doors to the building, he noticed the girl he had bumped into last time. 'Hi,' he smiled as he passed her, but she either blanked him or didn't hear him. Shrugging he went to buy the paints he had been ordered to purchase. *** _Yuki watched the boy sleep, riddled with fever. He sighed, Shuichi had been ill for a little over a week now, to much hard work and worry, leaving the twenty-one year old susceptible to a nasty flu virus. Yuki felt guilty, and had felt more so after Hiroshi's rant towards him. Yuki was at fault, causing Shuichi to worry and panic as Yuki had been away for a weekend with an old female friend. With another heavy sigh he swept back Shuichi's sweat clogged bangs and laid a kiss on his forehead. Why was the young man always so insecure in their relationship? Worrying over the slightest things? But, Yuki reasoned, he could barely blame him. It wasn't like the blonde ever showed the affection Shuichi needed to see. 'You're so stupid,' Yuki stated to the unconscious form beside him, 'I shouldn't need to tell you that I'd never leave you, not for another man. Not for a woman. I love you, you fool.' But of course, these tender words were lost on the sleeping Shuichi._ *** Yuki opened the door expecting to see Tohma or someone equally annoying. Wishing he had stuck to his guns and left the door shut, he stared at Amaya Kaori coldly. 'Amaya.' 'Y-Yuki-sama,' she didn't make eye contact. 'May I-' she shuffled on her feet, 'come in please?' He didn't want her in his apartment, but he let in unsure why did. He went into the living room and sat on the couch, leaving her standing. Without a word, she handed him a document, which he looked over. Her proof. So it was true after all. He felt physically sick and disgusted. Everything was ruined now. Shit. 'I'll leave you to think, Yuki-sama. I just…I…please help.' He said nothing. The girl sobbed, and suddenly teetered and dropped to the floor, unconscious. Worried she was injured or dead, Yuki got up to check if she was okay. She was so pale, dark blemishes under her eyes and her skin stretched taut over the strong bones in her face. 'Stupid girl.' It was no wonder she had passed out. He picked her up and laid her on the couch. Looking at her, he hated her. She was going to spoil his relationship with Shuichi, the only thing that mattered to him in the world, and shatter his last ounce of happiness. 'Bitch.' He would have to tell Shuichi, he would let Shuichi decide what was to be the fate of their relationship. * Paint dripped through his hair, and array of blues, pinks and greens were smudged on his face and overalls. And so far the three men had achieved the total of one wall painted. Shuichi had no idea how any of them were covered in pink and green as the paint as neither colour had been used. 'Ah, I'm beat,' Tatsuha stretched out on the couch. 'Kumagorou's hungry na no da.' Shuichi laughed; 'Sorry Kumagorou, there's no food here.' 'Kuma and Ryu-chan will go shopping then!' Ryuichi waved a fist in the air. Tatsuha jumped up, spotting a chance to be alone with his idol. 'I'll go too!' Ryuichi turned to Shuichi; 'Shu-chan is coming?' 'No, Sakuma-san, I'll stay and paint. Just get me some pocky!' Ryuichi pouted but eventually bundled Tatsuha out of the apartment with great enthusiasm. Shuichi stood in silence for a while before putting on a CD his sister had given him. An English band, called Good Charlotte. He hummed along to the tune as he began painting the second wall. He didn't notice Yuki standing in the doorway, the door left open from Tatsuha and Ryuichi's exit. He was just singing along to the chorus of Boys&Girls when he spotted his lover. 'YUKI!' he glomped the older man. He may of only seen the blonde the day before, but had missed him greatly in that short space of time. It was also a shock too see Yuki at his own apartment. Yuki didn't reciprocate the hug, so Shuichi backed off, worried. 'Yuki?' There was a grim expression of the beautiful face. Shuichi's heart weighted down. 'Shu…we need to talk.' Shuichi nodded and waited for Yuki to break his heart by pushing him away again. 'When…I…when we were apart…well, I slept with people. And a girl…' Shuichi looked up sharply, staring at Yuki. 'She's pregnant with my child.' Shuichi's eyes widened, 'Yuki…' 'Shuichi,' eyes earnest he stared at the younger man, 'I--its your choice.' 'What?' 'What your going to do. I won't make you stay with me, or try to sort things out if you don't want to.' In disbelief, Shuichi said something he would regret the rest of his life. 'You should do the right thing.' 'The right thing?' He nodded. _"Yuki…will the right thing for you to be to stay with me?"_ Yuki's face crumpled. 'Then, Shuichi…I don't know. I---' 'You should do what you think is right, Yuki,' Shuichi turned away, his heart hammering. 'Then I can't be with you. It won't be fair.' There was a deafening silence, and Shuichi's world melted. He didn't notice Yuki leave…or the fact that his knees gave out or that he was sobbing. **To Be Continued…** **Footnotes:** Sorry for the long wait. Sorry for the crappy shortness. LWL is roughly finished now, about 2 more chapters left. And I will update as soon as I can! 


	7. Seven

**Disclaimer:** Schmibble. Like I'd ever own _anything_ to do with these characters (Muse: you own this fanfic Em.)...they all belong to Maki Murakami and her wonderful brain. Don't sue me! >. **Notes:** Bwehehe. I notice how only ONE person felt sorry for poor Kaori. Personally, I think Yuki's a tad out of order as well… MWAHA. Thankies for reviews, this is the MOST response I've ever got, and I luffs you all for it *glomps minna* And I've never been to Japan, so my locations are far off. (Research bites) Everyone's all floopy-noopy OOC. Dammit. **WARNING:** Shounen-ai, hints of yaoi…maybe even some yaoi later. This means maleXmale partnerships. If you happen to disagree with this, then turn back now by hitting the "back" button. *Happens to wonder why you're reading Gravitation fanfiction* Key-desu! '…' = Speech _blahblah_ = flash back _"La li ho"_ = thoughts ---- The pain in his chest was torturous…just like before. The whole world became deaf to Shuichi. His eyes were blind with tears. And, unlike before, he felt rage. He was on his knees, crumpled over on the floor, cursing Yuki. It was always Yuki. Why did that one person have that ability to tear him apart? He dropped forward, his head coming to rest on the hardwood floor. He wanted to scream, kick and yell. Hurt the one who hurt him. Anything to stop the growing hurt in his chest. He writhed sobbing on the floor. After a while, the anger overcame the hurt and he pulled himself off the floor. 'I SAID I'D NEVER LET YOU HURT ME AGAIN!' he raged. 'Why?' Seeing a paint can, he lifted it and heaved it at the wall. It crashed against the stark white wall, smattering it with blue paint, the can crumpling in the force of the impact. Shuichi's breathing was heavy and slow. His shoulders slumped. 'Yuki…' The rage seeped out of him, and all he felt was the loneliness. He stared at the result of his out of character rage fit, and felt fresh tears in his eyes. He had to get out and away. He wiped his eyes clear of tears, took a deep shuddering breath and looked towards the door. Ryuichi and Tatsuha would be back soon. Attempting to remain calm, he strode over to his wardrobe and pulled the door harshly open, the hinges creaking in protest. He stared for a moment, before pulling all the pictures down from around the mirror, tearing them in his haste. He didn't care; he couldn't stand the staring faces, especially Yuki's. The frayed photos fell to the floor at his feet, torn images of his past. When the door was completely blank apart from the odd piece of blue tack and the mirror, Shuichi ducked down and pulled out a duffel bag. He selected clothes; sweaters, long pants and long sleeve t-shirts. It was cold outside, and he had no idea where he was aiming to go. When that was done, he picked his cell phone up, dropped it on the floor and crushed it with his foot. Then he grabbed his coat and wallet and left the apartment. * Yuki stared hard at his front door. Behind it was the sleeping Amaya Kaori…he felt anger rise towards the girl, but quickly calmed it. This was his fault and he would have to sort it. He entered the apartment, took of his shoes and slipped on his slippers, dropping his keys on the side table. His usual routine, but it seemed so out of place. He enters the living room to find the girl awake and sitting on the sofa. She looked bored and out of place in the large room. _"She dresses almost like Shuichi…"_ Yuki mused, and steeled himself. His heart ached from his, probably last, encounter with Shuichi. He felt so miserable in the fact that he would probably never see the man again. 'I'm home.' He mono-toned. The girl looked up at him and leapt from her seat so fast it was as if she'd been caught doing something wrong. 'I'm sorry Yuki-sama.' He sighed and sat down; 'We need to discuss what we're going to do. Sit down.' She sat and stared at him like a deer caught in the headlights, she looked scared and unsure. 'You said your family's strict, so maybe we should marry. Buy a new apartment,' he looked at her wide startled look. 'Will that do?' 'Marry?' 'Yes. Its not like theres any other option.' She stood quickly from her seat and backed away from him. He heard her murmur something to herself as she paced up and down the apartment floor. 'Whats the matter?' He said, not really caring but her constant shuffling and muttering was already beginning to annoy him. 'I'm sorry Yuki-sama. I really am. I thought I could do this but I can't!' 'What?' 'My friends…they said I should. They said its your fault, after all.' 'Wait…hold on. Can you explain what the HELL your rambling on about in some sensible form for me to understand?' She looked at him, her eyes glistening. 'The baby…it isn't yours.' * Shuichi's eye snapped open, somewhere along the way, from the lull of the train, he had drifted to sleep. But apparently the sleep had lasted barely ten minutes. Across the train, a girl stared at him. He looked away from her quickly and pulled up his coats collar, ducking his head down. By what he approximated, he had five minutes left until the train arrived at Kannai Station. He shifted in his seat, and stared down the almost empty train carriage. They'd already passed Yokohama station and Sakuragi station, so most of the passengers had departed. An announcement over the intercom proved his estimation right, so he hoisted his duffle bag onto his back and stood. His bones felt weary and all he wanted to do was sleep. It was late now; he had spent about four hours after leaving his apartment just wandering around and pondering where to go. He hadn't been to Yokohama for a long time, and the last time he had been with family, on vacation. He smiled vaguely at the memory; it had been fun, playing in the park and seeing the sites. Shaking off the thoughts, he racked his brain for where to go. The last time he had run off, he hadn't gone so directly to one place. He had somehow ended up in Okinawa and had to fly home. The train pulled into the station, and with a quick check to make sure he had everything, he alighted the train, the girl who had been sitting opposite him following. He cast a look over his shoulder, feeling nervous. Fans had a tendency to make him nervous when he was on his own, but he wasn't even sure if she was following him. All the same, he sped up, while thinking of where to stay. He was in the Kannai and Isezaki-cho areas of Yokohama…and he only knew of two hotels there, the Chatelet Inn or Yokohama Garden. He didn't care which one he stayed at, the first one he came across he would book into. He reached the Chatelet Inn first, after almost being run over twice and still having the creepy girl behind him. He pulled open the door and stepped inside. 'Irashimasu!' Called the girl at reception, before she realised who it was. 'Oh my god! Its Shindou-sama!' 'No no, my name is Sh--Shirai. Shirai Hiro. I just happen to look like Shindou Shuichi a lot. It gets me all the girls,' he stared at her wondering if she'd believe him. A lot of people in the lobby were already staring. 'Oh,' she smiled weakly, looking disappointed, 'I'm very sorry, Shirai-san. How may I help you?' 'Urm…I'd like to book a room.' 'How long for?' 'I'm unsure. I -- I just moved, but am looking for an apartment. So, I'm not sure how long it with take.' 'Okay then,' she took some details, which Shuichi hesitated on. He really hated lying. 'You pay on checkout, enjoy your stay.' Key in hand, he went off to find his room. He glanced behind him to notice that, thankfully, creepy stalker girl had gone. * Ryuichi and Tatsuha arrived back at Shuichi's apartment an hour after Shuichi had left. They carried two bags of groceries between them, one full of candy, and the other full of foodstuffs to make sandwiches. 'Shuuuuuuuuichi!' Ryuichi called, happily announcing his arrival back. Tatsuha looked at the paint splattered wall, the drips running down the blank canvas semi-dry. 'Shuichi?' He called out, worried. 'Tatsuha-chan…' Ryuichi grasped on to Tatsuha's arm tightly, pressing his body against Tatsuha's. The young monk's mind wandered elsewhere as he felt Ryuichi mould to him, but he sharply told himself to snap out of it. 'Where's Shu-chan?' Ryuichi said slowly, afraid. Reluctantly, Tatsuha untangled himself from his idol and told him to sit down. He went over to Shuichi's 'bedroom' and noticed the torn pictures; the clothes scatted over the floor. Then he noticed the crushed cell phone. 'Oh shit.' 'Tats-chan?' eyes filled with tears, Ryuichi bit down on one of Kumagorou's ears. 'Don't worry, Ryu-chan. I'm sure Shuichi's fine,' he smiled uneasily and pulled out his own cell phone. 'I'll be back in a minute. Please don't go anywhere.' He stepped outside of the apartment and called Maiko. * Yuki felt numb. For a moment, the whole world stopped as he stared disbelievingly at the girl. Gathering himself together, he uttered in disgust; 'Excuse me?' barely able to choke the words out through anger. She stared at him terrified. 'The baby isn't yours! I'm really sorry for causing you all this trouble…' Yuki bit back his urge to shout; 'You don't know what trouble you've caused,' he muttered bitterly. He stood and marched over to her, looking her directly in the eyes. 'Why exactly did you choose me?' 'My friends…they…they said you should take responsibility. I wasn't lying when I said my family was strict, I'm only twenty-one. They'll kill me for being pregnant and unmarried. I'll be disowned!' She was shaking. 'You didn't answer my question,' he said coldly to the hysterical young girl. Looking up to him earnestly she said; 'We slept together…I've only ever slept with two people. My boyfriend and you. Our silly one nightstand ruined my relationship with him, and now I'm stuck with his child! My friends told me to make you take some responsibility, so I did.' She glared at him. 'This doesn't make any sense. How did you get the test results to show the child was mine?' 'It was easy. A friend of mines a doctor…I asked for a little help.' She stepped back from him. 'You're not as nice as I thought you'd be…you've treated me horribly.' 'Its obviously no more than you deserve!' Yuki had finally lost his temper, 'you just don't realise how much damage you've done, you stupid bitch!' She flinched away as if she had been slapped. 'I said I was sorry!' 'You ruined the only good thing in my life! You made me end it with Shu--' He broke off and walked away. 'You were with someone?' She blurted out her words, and looked shocked, 'but…the media said you were single. Have been since you broke up with Shindou Shuichi.' There was silence. 'Wait a minute…Shu…Shu. WERE YOU WITH SHINDOU-SAN?!' He glared at her, amazed how blind and unbelievably annoying she was being. 'Just get out.' He snarled. She looked at him, biting down on her lip again, her eyes filled with pleading and pity. 'Yuki-sama, I'm sorry.' She passed him quickly, on her way out and stopped at the opening to the passage. 'But…I'm- I know this is none of my business, but…' she sighed, 'I wish you all the best in getting Shindou-san back.' After a moment's hesitation, she dashed over a lay a quick kiss on his cheek, before running from the apartment. * Shuichi's apartment had now become hunting-for-Shuichi-headquarters. On the couch sat Hiro, Ryuichi and Ayaka, cradling baby Hijiri. Maiko was pacing up and down the living room, worried about her brother, while Tatsuha prepared some food for people to snack on. 'What the hell could've upset Shuichi so much?' She suddenly blurted out, causing them all to jump. 'Maiko,' Hiro said, 'we've been over this, and came to the conclusion that we don't know.' 'But he's been so happy the past month! It doesn't make any sense!' On the coffee table were the shredded photos, looking forlornly up at them all. 'The last time he did this, it was because of Yuki,' Ayaka pondered. 'He doesn't see Yuki-san anymore.' Tatsuha set down a plate of sandwiches on the coffee table by the photos. 'Hey, maybe he was having a secret love-love affair!' Maiko and Hiro glared at him and stated point blank in unison; 'He would of told us.' 'Un, Shu-chan can't keep secrets,' Kumagorou offered, with the help of Ryuichi. 'But he seemed perfectly happy before we left to get food!' Someone's cell phone began to ring and Maiko grabbed at her pockets, 'Everyone, shut up. Its Onii-chan.' 'How the hell did she know that?' Tatsuha quizzed as Maiko stormed out of the apartment berating her brother. 'Bad Luck ring tone.' 'Oh.' * 'Maiko, will you _please_ calm down?' 'No, Shuichi, where are you? Come home.' 'Maiko…I can't. I need some time to think.' 'Well, at least tell your little sister whats wrong, you goon.' 'It's a secret.' 'Onii-chan, I'm am super pissed off at you right now, if you want to make it worse, fine go ahead and keep your secrets…you know what will happen when you get back though.' 'Gulp? I'll just have to stay away then.' 'What about Bad Luck? Your friends? Your family?' 'I'm sorry Maiko, I need some time to think.' 'Onii-chan.' 'I'm in Yokohama,' he blurted out suddenly. 'Good. And why exactly are you there?' 'Maiko…' She raised an eyebrow and said poignantly; 'Onii-chan.' 'Okay, okay.' There was a long pause, with the sound of Shuichi shifting in the background. 'I… Well…Urm--' '…' 'I got back together with Yuki.' 'Eh?' 'About a month ago, after Hijiri-chan was born.' 'Excuse me?' 'I kept it secret, because…well, I don't know why. I just wanted it to be mine again…I wanted his love. I didn't care about everything else.' His voice sounded strained over the phone, and Maiko could sense him holding back tears. 'But…he gave me this choice. He told me to decide what I wanted, before he did anything else!' 'Shuichi…slow down, nii-chan. I don't understand.' 'This girl, she's pregnant, with Yuki's ba---baby,' he choked back a sob, 'and he came to see me, and I told him to make the right choice, and he chose her! He said it wouldn't be fair. He never loved me; I was always just a toy. Why didn't he choose me? Shouldn't I be important?' 'Don't worry Onii-chan, we'll come and get you.' 'NO! I want to be on my own.' 'Listen, where are you staying?' 'Maiko…please. Just, leave me alone.' The phone went dead. With controlled calm, Maiko went back into the apartment, greeted with eager faces. 'Well?' Hiro asked. 'He's in Yokohama.' 'Great! Lets go get him!' 'He doesn't want to see us.' 'What? Why?' Ryuichi sobbed. 'He's very upset, and I'm going to sort it out. I have a better idea than going to get him.' She grabbed her keys from the sideboard. 'I'll be back in a little while. Don't leave this apartment.' * The door was being banged on noisily. Yuki glared at it, but to no avail, the banging didn't stop. 'Annoying,' he grumbled, moving from his spot in the hallway to answer it. The door glided open and he was greeted to a very female looking Shuichi. No, it wasn't Shuichi, the hair was all wrong and the eyes were slightly too small. 'Uesugi Eiri!' the girl raged. Oh, right, he remembered her now; she was the bossy younger sibling of the Shindou family. She pushed him in the chest, sending him stumbling as she stepped into the apartment. 'You broke my nii-chan's heart again! Do you think I'll ever forgive you for this?' 'Do you think I care?' He asked, regaining his composure. In all honesty, the woman was kind of imposing when she was acting protective. 'I know you damn well do. You may think you can hide it all, but you can't.' She stopped and asked quietly; 'Do you love him?' He stared blankly at her. 'What is this?' 'I want to know! I'll tell you where he is if you tell me the truth. You can go get him. Mend his heart…be the knight in shining armour for him! Please, Yuki-san.' 'What does it matter anymore? I've ruined it…' 'It doesn't matter! If you love him, isn't that the most important thing?' She stared at him. 'Get my brother back, or I'll beat you to death with a stick.' 'I do love him…but-' 'God, its always with the "buts". What, can't leave your girlfriend alone?' 'Its not my baby.' 'Oh…then you have no reason to prolong the agony.' She kicked off her shoes quickly, stumbled over her feet to the hallway table and threw his car keys at him. 'GET HIM. Or I will be forced to fulfil my threat,' she said darkly. Yuki opened his mouth to say something, but Maiko simply glared. 'He's in Yokohama. Probably near Kannai or Yamashita, we took vacations there as a family in childhood.' She tapped her foot impatiently. Without another word, Yuki left, practically running to his car. _"Will Shuichi want me back?"_ **To Be Continued…** **Footnotes:** Mwoiiiiiii. One more chapter too go! Me thinks I've been reading too many romance type stories. >. OH! OH! Shuichi has yet to make up his mind in my mind whether he would ever want Yuki back...soooo, I'm asking you to say what you'd like. Although I'll probably do my own thing in the end.o.O Ja ne 


	8. Eight

**Disclaimer:** *insert previous disclaimer* **Notes:** *dances* Lufferly reviewers! *glomps all* Thank you!!!! Well this should be the final chapter; I hope o.O. Enjoy! **WARNING:** Shounen-ai. This means maleXmale partnerships. Blah, go away if you're not of the liking. Angst! Mwahaha...and possibly *gasp* a happy ending? o.o Key-desu! '…' = Speech _blahblah_ = flash back _"La li ho"_ = thoughts --- Shuichi stared blankly at the phone on the bedside table after hanging up on Maiko. He felt numb, and had no real clue why he had called her. She wouldn't come after him, would she? Would she tell everyone what had been happening? He shrugged; got off the bed and began to pace around the room, filled with restlessness. His stomach growled, informing him he needed food, having not eaten since breakfast, but he ignored the aching hunger. He didn't want to go out, nor did he want to order room service. He flopped back on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. _"I can't sit here forever,"_ he reasoned, spotting a patch of darker paint on the ceiling that looked incredibly like Hiro. He titled his head slightly to look at it, grew bored and instead sighed and sat up. He was tired, hungry and heartbroken, currently at a loss of what to do. He rested his head in his hands and breathed in deeply, his eyes drooping. Shuichi yawned and flopped back onto his bed again, and curled up. Within seconds, he fell into a nightmare-tortured sleep. * She stood staring up at the hotel. He had lied about his name; she was sure of it. Fangirl-ish glee resided within her heart; she knew that that man she had seen today was Shindou Shuichi, her idol and love of her life. And now she had to meet him. She would meet him; it was just a point of when, because there was no security swarming over the Bad Luck vocalist. She frowned; she had to admit that was kind of odd. That, and the fact that he had come to Yokohama by train, with nobody else. He had looked so downhearted. She balled her fists and set her face determinedly, her watery blue eyes glinting. She wanted to put a smile back on the singers face. * The sleek black car cruised at high speed through the little amount of traffic. Yuki was tense as he sat in the drivers seat, thoughts whizzing through his mind a mile a minute. Yuki had never been one to dwell on things, and these constant hammering thoughts were driving him crazy. 'Will Shuichi want me back?' he murmured to himself, shifting a gear as he swung over into the next lane, barely missing a car to his left and not even noticing. It was late; roughly eleven pm by the time Yuki reached Yokohama. He pulled up neatly into Yokohama Garden Hotels parking bay as a valet ran up to him. Figuring it was best to sleep for the night, in order to make an early start searching for Shuichi, he checked into the hotel. Yuki sat on the edge of the bed in the small, yet cosy room. He rested his head in his hands and sighed. He didn't sleep at all. * Shuichi woke with a start the following morning, his heart hammering madly against his ribcage. He blinked away the sleep, and looked around the room warily, confused about where he was. In an instant, everything came flooding back causing Shuichi to flinch and drop back heavily on his pillow, wishing for it all to go away. After just staring at the ceiling for half an hour, the young man eventually pulled himself heavily off the bed. His stomach grumbled loudly, reminding him of how hungry he was. With a sigh, he grabbed his bag and pulled out a change of clothes, heading towards the bathroom. Ten minutes later, he left his room in search of somewhere to get breakfast. Shuichi's eyes were on his feet as he walked; mind off in turmoil and paying no attention to where he was going or what he was doing. Loud music pounded into Shuichi's ears, via his mini-disc player, even though he barely registered what was playing. A Nittle Grasper song maybe, or something his sister had forced him to listen too. He exited the hotel and turned right, away from the direction he had come from the previous night. He managed to weave his way through clusters of school-going children and the early morning traffic without running into anyone. He wandered into a small convenience store and bought some food to take back to his hotel room. He ignored the staring eyes, and hushed whispering. 'Is that Shindou-san?' 'What, you mean the guy from Bad Luck?' 'Do you think it is?' 'Ask him!' 'No! I'm too shy, you do it!' And so on. Walking back to the Chatelet Inn, Shuichi nibbled on some pocky, wondering what everyone else was doing. He had concluded that Maiko had probably told everyone now and that they had either decided to leave him be or come look for him. He hoped it was the former; he didn't want to deal with his little sister and friends. 'OW!' 'Oh god! I'm so sorry!' A girl pulled back rubbing her head, mirroring Shuichi's movements. Shuichi tenderly rubbed the forming bump on his head. He hadn't even noticed the girl walking towards him. 'No, no. I'm sorry. I should have been paying attention.' The girl smiled timidly and shook her head. 'We both should have been paying attention,' she suggested. 'A…un…maybe.' He looked around warily. His attention snapped back on the girl as he felt her gaze on him. 'I'm sorry Shindou-san…' she said. 'Eh? Oh its—o--, damn.' 'Aha! I knew it, you are Shindou Shuichi!' A few people turned their heads at this but Shuichi pulled the girl away from the main flow of people. 'Hey, look. Please keep your voice down.' 'Is the rest of Bad Luck with you? Ohhhh! I wanna meet Suguru!' Shuichi raised an eyebrow but stopped himself from saying anything and looked deeply into the girl's watery blue eyes. 'Look, please don't tell anyone you know I'm well…me! I don't want people to know where I am.' The girl looked uncertain. 'Why?' she asked slowly. 'Because…hey! It's not really any of your business. Just…please?' 'What will you give me in return?' 'What?' 'If I keep the secret and let you go on pretending to be whoever you are pretending to be, what do I get in return? Seems like you're the only gaining here, babes.' 'Urm…my complete utter gratitude?' 'Hmph.' 'Urm…' 'I know….' She said slowly, in a voice that scared Shuichi to the core. 'What?' he asked nervously. 'A date.' Gulp. 'Date?' 'You and me. Tonight. Don't argue, or I'll scream like a fangirl.' 'Oh god! Please don't do that!' 'Agree then, and I promise I won't.' Shuichi was torn. He was in Yokohama to get away from everything, to get away from love and lust and everything else that had come crashing down around him after Yuki had left him again. Did he want to agree? Or did he want to be bombarded with rabid fangirls and boys, ripping him apart? It was an easy decision to make, really. 'Okay,' he sighed. 'I'll go with you.' 'Yay! Movie and dinner, then your free. You pay, you're famous, and you must be loaded. I'll meet you at your hotel at eight. Ja ne!' She skipped off down the street and Shuichi was left with the feeling that the whole thing had been planned. * Yuki had spent the whole day walking around Yokohama, and had yet to see a dash of pink hair. Well, there had been one incident and he would never quite understand why a woman that age would want her hair like that…He shuddered. Next time, he would double check before acting…he wasn't going to go there. Not that there was anything wrong with old people it was just…they weren't Shuichi! There was only one Shuichi. He shook his head and sat down on a nearby bench, sighing desolately. 'I'm like a love sick fool,' he grumbled. 'Like one of the idiots in my books.' _"Hahah, welcome to reality of love."_ _Oh shut up._ _"You come all the way here to look for him, proving you really are a love sick fool."_ 'I'm here because I need to prove I won't break his heart and assure I can keep him…' he grumbled aloud, attempting to quiet his thoughts. _"Love sick foooooooool!"_ Sadly, Yuki could almost imagine little thought him dancing around singing this. 'I'm going mad.' Why did Shuichi have the ability to do this to him? And the brat wasn't even there! Pulling out a cigarette and lighting it, he decided that he would sit here and think for a while before continuing his search. * Shuichi walked out of the movie theatre, fangirl clinging to his arm. 'Shuichi.' 'What?' 'Lets go there to eat!' the girl, whose name was Heather, pointed to an overly expensive looking western food restaurant. 'Okay, sure, fine. Whatever.' 'Geez, be a bit more enthusiastic about your date with a sexy looking girl would ya?' 'Look Avery-san…' 'Heather.' 'Heather…' 'Thank you!' 'Heather, I'm not really in the mood for a date.' 'Why?' 'Because…' 'Because?' Shuichi felt like slapping the girl, she was the epitome of annoying fangirls everywhere. Why did he have to be discovered by an annoying fangirl? 'I'm here to have a break from it all. Not date, I've just had a tough break up.' 'Ooooo? It wasn't in the gossip magazines. Who were you dating?' _"Oh, what the Hell? Tell her, she'll never shut up otherwise."_ 'Yuki Eiri.' The girl emitted a high-pitched squeal. 'No fucking way!' He stared at her. 'Oh god, that's HUGE! I was rooting for your relationship when it first became public. You two rocked together.' 'Heh…we did?' 'Yeah! So cute!' 'Urm…thanks.' 'Ehehe, this is great. No wait. Why'd you break up again?' 'Uh, it doesn't really matter.' The two entered the restaurant, which was partially empty getting them a table as soon as they entered. 'Wow…this place is pricey,' Heather said, receiving a menu. Shuichi stared at her wide-eyed. 'You have expensive taste…' he grumbled. 'We don't have to have dinner if you don't want to. Personally, I feel bad now. I'm sorry for forcing myself on you like this. I had this all planned, I've idolised you from the start. Plus, you're hot.' _"She rambles a lot…doesn't she?"_ 'Well, of course I didn't realise why you were so unhappy.'v 'Eh?' Shuichi stared at her. 'Don't you remember me? The girl from the train. I followed you…' 'Crazy stalker girl?' 'Uh…well, I wouldn't say that.' The first round of drinks arrived and the two launched a huge conversation. * Maiko paced Shuichi's apartment. 'Why aren't they back yet?'v Tatsuha looked at her glumly, an arm wrapped supportively around a sleeping Ryuichi's shoulders. They were the only three left. 'Maiko, stop saying that and tell me who they are!' 'It doesn't matter!' the woman snapped. 'Well, stop pacing at least! Go home…spend some time with that boyfriend of yours. Your brothers problems cannot be yours all the time.' 'You don't understand. I've potentially set up a disaster…or a happy re-union.' 'Eh?' 'Your brother! And my brother! God, I thought you'd get it. That's the only way to make Onii-chan return happily and safely, getting those two to repair the damage done. Again! God, men are such idiots.' Tatsuha just stared at her confused. * Time had passed and Shuichi was beginning to feel tipsy. 'I mean…its not like I mind the fact that Yuki slept with someone else. We weren't together but he chose the bitch over me. He didn't need to. Has he ever heard of child benefits?' Heather nodded eagerly. 'Uhmmmm, men are idiots sometimes. But I suppose he felt it would cause the least damage.' 'Well, it didn't!' Shuichi slammed a fist down. 'He hurt me. And I can't hate him. Damned bastard. All I can do is love him more!' Shuichi stopped his rant and looked at the girl opposite him, eyes sombre. 'Its not like I would have cared that he was a daddy!' 'It wouldn't have affected your relationship, would it?' 'Hell no! The weekend visits would have been cool! Hey, maybe…' 'Eh?' 'Being a mommy wouldn't be so bad. Do you think I'd make a good mommy?' 'I think you'd make a good mommy.' 'Good. I'm gonna tell Yuki that!' Slamming some yen down onto the table, not caring how much it was, Shuichi got up and began to walk out of the restaurant. 'Shindou-san! Wait for me…' Heather caught up with him. 'I'll walk you back to your hotel.' The two walked in silence, reaching the Chatelet Inn in a surprisingly short amount of time. 'Urm…Heather.' 'Yes?' Shuichi wobbled slightly on his feet, drink intoxicating his system. 'Thank you…for tonight. For helping me realise I need Yuki.' 'No problem.' Shuichi lent over and kissed the girl softly on the cheek. 'Good night.' 'Good night, Shindou-san.' The two parted. * Yuki walked down the road, figuring he'd try and look in hotels. Seeing as there were only two to choose from, he decided to try out the Chatelet Inn before returning to Yokohama Garden. He pulled a cigarette out and lit it, turning to corner to the Inn. A dash of pink caught his eye. He looked closer. The clothes, they were Shuichi's. His heart skipped a beat and he walked faster. But who was that with the man? A young girl, dressed in a short skirt and a skimpy top. Shuichi was leaning in towards the girl. Yuki stopped and stared. From the angle he was at, it appeared as though Shuichi were kissing the girl full frontal. The cigarette dropped from Yuki's mouth, the man felt a sharp pain in his chest. Ignoring it and attempting to remain calm, he turned and walked back the way he had came. * Shuichi arrived back in Tokyo several days later. He hadn't wanted to go straight back home; still unsure of what he wanted to do. He wanted Yuki back; he wanted to tell Yuki that even if he had a child he didn't care. And he wanted to prevent the possibility of being shot down for as long as possible, after all, he wasn't even sure what Yuki would want in return. He sighed and got off the train, stepping onto the platform. Exiting from the train station, he couldn't help but feel a little guilty about not telling anyone of his return and for running away in the first place. He looked up to the sky. 'What do I want to do first?' he murmured to the clouds. Go home? Or go straight to Yuki's? His first instinct was to go home, but he knew that by doing that it would make seeing Yuki harder later. Mind made up he started on his way to Yuki's apartment block, walking at a fast pace out of nerves. _"Why am I so nervous? What will Yuki say? The worst he can do is tell me to get lost and he's done that so many times before, it should matter! Why is this so different?"_ Lost in thought he barely realised that he was suddenly standing in front of the door to Yuki's apartment. Shuichi stared at the plain wooden door apprehensively, hesitation before he knocked. There was no answer. 'Ooo, anytime apart from this! Why are you out now?!' Angrily he knocked again and again. There was a sound of movement inside and Shuichi's heart picked up pace. 'YUKI!' A thud from inside. 'Yuki?' Shuichi pounded on the door. 'Dammit. I know you're in there. Please open the door!' He took a step back, aiming to run into the door and throw his full weight against it in order to either get the inhabitants attention or do himself some serious damage (not that he knew the latter). He fell forward just as the door opened and landed on top of a certain blonde writer. 'What the hell do you want?' was the cold greeting he got. 'I-ah-' 'Go away.' Yuki pushed him off and got up. Shuichi cringed but reached out and grabbed Yuki's shirtsleeve. 'Yuki…please. Listen.' Silence. 'I-ah…I went away…after you told me what you were going to do. But someone helped me realise this; I don't care whether you're a father or not. I want to be with you. Hell, you could into spanking and bondage but I'd still love you. Well, actually I'd also find that pretty kinky…but I'm sidetracking.' Yuki stared down at him, and Shuichi hoped the resistance was wavering…or he wouldn't know what to do. 'You could be anything, but you'd still be you and that's the only thing I want in this world.' Yuki snorted and Shuichi looked at him, confused. 'What about your little girlfriend in Yokohama?' 'Eh?' 'The girl you were kissing?' 'Eh? Eh? Wha---ooooh.' 'Ooooh, indeed?' 'You mean HEATHER?' Shuichi stood up, and looked Yuki directly in the eye as best he could, being an inch or so shorter than the other man still. 'You saw that? Yuki…you…MAIKO! I'm gonna kill my sister!' 'She was only doing what she thought was best. You proved she didn't need to.' Yuki walked away. 'Yuki! Please. Listen. She's a fangirl. She tricked me into that date, she's the one who helped me realise what I wanted!' 'After you slept with her?' 'It was an innocent kiss on the cheek, you selfish bastard!' Shuichi lost his temper, 'you made a girl pregnant! Who the hell are you to talk? And if you hadn't of done that, I wouldn't have been trapped by some rabid fangirl into going on a pointlessly expensive date! So don't get self righteous on me!' Shuichi stormed into the living room where Yuki was staring at him astounded. 'It wasn't my child.' Shuichi stopped. 'Eh?' 'We went through all that for nothing.' 'You mean?' 'I went to Yokohama…to get you back. I thought you'd gotten over me when I saw you with that girl.' 'Yuki…' 'Do you still want me?' Shuichi bounded across the room towards Yuki and knocked the man over on his back for the second time that day. 'I thought you were the intelligent one. Like it or not; you're stuck with me from now on. I'm not leaving you for as long as I live!' **The End** Footnotes: Finally over, ne? Hope you enjoyed…if you did, review! See if you can be my 100th reviewer (the first ever. In fact, 100 reviews would probably kill me…O.O…so, maybe not a good idea.) Thank you to everybody who read, and enjoyed. And to those who didn't, thank you for no flames. *huggles all* **I apologise profusely for the crappiness of the ending. I cannot write endings…I hate finishing things -.-** **Dedication:** Vay, this fic is officially dedicated to you because you made me write, gave me ideas (maybe without even knowing) and threatened me into giving this fic a happy ending. =P 


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